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February 12, 2015

The long-awaited film version of the erotic romance novel 'Fifty Shades of Grey' opens this weekend. Here are some differences between the movie and the book.

The long-awaited film version of the hit erotic romance novel Fifty Shades of Grey opens this weekend. Here are some key differences between the movie and the book:

  • The provocative sex scenes where Christian and Anastasia talk about the irrefutable honesty and integrity of Brian Williams had to be removed.
  • The terms “gal gulch,” “backdoor pucker,” “slick pud,” and “turge donk,” while ubiquitous in the book, never appear in the movie.
  • In the book, Christian Grey is a big ol’ slobbery pervert, whereas in the movie, he is a great huge horned-up sex-psycho.
  • The film features no actual penetration, only a series of near-misses.
  • In the books, Christian Grey’s iconic Fiftymobile looks more like a normal car, and doesn’t have any rocket launchers.
  • Ana’s prolonged seduction is now a bouncy montage set to Blondie’s “One Way Or Another.”
  • Christian Grey’s penis is nine centimeters longer in the film version.
  • While in the film, deviant millionaire Christian Grey is played by Jamie Dornan, he is played in the book by Paul Giamatti.
  • The film has a definite sexual tension between Ana and Christian that is not present in the book.
  • The scene where Christian and Ana first use Ben Wa balls has been replaced by a scene where the couple first streams their favorite shows on the Samsung Galaxy Note® 4.
  • A lot of the bondage is clearly CGI'ed.
  • The movie is a cynical cash grab, whereas the book is a guileless cash grab.
  • You’re far more likely to be arrested for masturbating at the movie theater than you are at the library.