One of the biggest problems with American society is arrogance and narcissism. These two character flaws detrimentally impact nearly all interactions including political, business, and social.
Politically they create partisan behavior and open the doors for big money corruption. In business, they pave the way for greedy and unethical practices. And socially, they encourage selfish snobbery and douchebaggery. With just a few minutes of thought, I’m sure that everyone can think of a situation where arrogance or narcissism has caused unnecessary pain or turmoil.
I have figured out a socially radical way that we can eliminate these problems from wreaking more havoc to our already tumultuous and polarized society…
All political, business, and social interactions should be done in underwear and no make up.
Before, you attack me for being a pervert, let me emphasize that this would only be a pleasurable experience for about 2% of the population. I don’t want to see most women in their unmentionables without make up and I don’t care to see any men in their briefs.
I know many of you are saying, “Daniel, this is ludicrous. How will this help anything?”
I will answer will a situation we can all relate too. Think about when you are at the beach or the pool. Think about how humble girls are when you can see their whole body, their make up is washed off, their hair has is flat and lifeless all under the bright natural sun.
Now think about how humble men are when you can see their fat bellies, wimpy arms, flat chests, and hairy backs.
Now are you seeing the picture I am painting? By exposing people’s physical inadequacies, you create an environment where only the truly confident and intelligent will speak and be heard. No more hiding behind hours of “getting ready” and designer clothes.
Now what about people who are blessed with extreme physical attractiveness?
Most of these people aren’t smart enough to interact at high levels. If someone is super attractive AND intelligent, then good for them; they are demigods.
Here are some real life examples that should make you think about the viability of this concept.
1. Rush Limbaugh: Do you think he would be so tough if he wasn’t hiding behind a microphone and oxycontin induced delusions?
2. Newt Gingrich: It’s hard to be an arrogant dick when everyone can see that you are 70 years old and have the body of a wrinkled New Years’ baby.
3. Hillary Clinton: It is hard to come across as a strong woman when your boobs hang below your navel and your penis hangs farther.
4. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Leader of Iran): Nuclear proliferation would become less of a priority when you have to hide your 2 inch brown sand worm from the world.
5. Female Jersey Shore cast (sober): I can’t even imagine what that pigfest would look like with bronzer, hair extensions, eye lash extensions, implants, corsets, high heels, ounces of make up and faux celebrity status.
6. Bitchy girls in clubs: Watch how they scamper for shelter like german cockroaches when the lights come on at last call.
7. Douche bag guys in clubs: It’s amazing how no alcohol and designer shirts wipe that shit eating smirk of their faces.
8. Any Hollywood twit that wants to express their uninformed political and social views: I’ve seen pictures of Cameron Diaz without make and she looks like a Mongolian catfish. No wonder Timberlake left her.
9. The Baldwins: Not that any of them are even A-listers, but I wouldn’t be impressed by an oaf that’s hairier than a Sasquatch.
10. The obese: Self-explanatory.
The above were examples that my theory would bring down a peg. The following is a list of people that may benefit from working in your skivvies.
1. Greedy corporate executives, board members, and bankers: It would be a tad more believable when they tell us they used their government bail out money for good when they aren’t wearing $5000 Zegna suits.
2. Barack Obama: He is already handsome, intelligent, and eloquent, imagine if he had a “jungle dong” under that kevlar suit.
3. Sarah Palin: She is a milf and extremely overconfident. Getting her out of her “naughty secretary” costume into lingerie doesn’t seem that hard and it would distract us from the brain dead rhetoric that leaves her mouth.
4. Strippers: We’re in their world now.
5. The Homeless: We may be more apt to give them money because the smell of urine and malt liquor won’t radiate from their clothes.
6. Lesbians: They don’t wear make up and already have short hair. They will probably get more respect because people will think that they are dealing with a man.
You can see how the list of beneficiaries of the under wear and no make up plan is shorter and shakier than the list of people that it will silence. Further evidence that we need to push for this radical social change.
Get the word out! Propose this for the next company sales meeting, job interview, or any other negotiation style interaction. I promise this will change the world!