“Fat Bastard is a pantyholic,” confirmed Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise’s wife, who left the private party laden with eight grand worth of Chantilly-lace panties. Holmes then tossed Fat Bastard a pair of very expensive monogram panties trimmed with Swarovski crystals. “The Fat Bastard needs therapy,” admitted Cruise as he danced in front of Katie dressed only in white underwear and dark sunglasses playing air guitar.
Fat Bastard's agent could not be reached for comment because he quit during last week's episode in Vegas and is hanging out with the fake Geico lizard.
© 2008 Austin Girl