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Additional Credits:
Kelly Brotman: Writer
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Published September 20, 2013

Summer Jobs Sketch #2

 

Hotel Receptionist Continued. Job #2: Therapist  Secretary.

 

WENDY FRESHNER: A RECENT EMPLOYEE THAT QUIT FROM HER OLD JOB.

 

TONI APPLEBAM: THE  THERAPIST

 

QUEZNO: WENDY'S OLD BOSS.

 

NURSE OBAMA: ANGER ISSUES.

 

EX. DR. ANTONIA APPLEBAM’S OFFICE.-DAY

 

INT. TONI APPLEBAM’S OFFICE.-DAY

(WENDY, NURSE OBAMA, TONI, QUEZNO)

WENDY FRESHNER IS SETTLING INTO HER NEW JOB.

WENDY

(Muttering to herself) Now let’s hope this job isn’t like my last job at that hotel. Man, I hope my boss got out of that hostage situation. His ex was a crazy hoe bag.

NURSE FELICIA OBAMA WALKS INTO THE SCENE. SHE SPOTS WENDY AND THEN STOPS IN SHOCK.

WENDY (CONT’D)

Why Nurse Obama what a pleasant surprise.  Are you here to see Ms. Applebam?

NURSE OBAMA

(Feigning confusion) This is not the Apple Store? I could of sworn it was on 1528 Wilshire road?

TONI APPLEBAM WALKS INTO THE SCENE FROM HER OFFICE.

TONI

Ah Felicia, your right on time for your appointment.  Now I am running a half hour late, I do not want to see your same reaction as the last time. I am still paying for the damages you have caused my office.

TONI LEAVES THE SCENE. WENDY LOOKS AT HER SCEPTICALLY.

NURSE OBAMA

(Raising her voice) I have anger issues okay?! People always ask me if I’m related to the president! Are you his sister? Cousin? Aunt? Is it an honor to be related to such an amazing man?!  I have news for you, I’m a republican! It’s not an honor, Bush was  the  answer to this nation!  And another thing...

TONI RENTERS THE SCENE.

TONI

Oh Felicia, be sure to  take deep cleansing breathes whenever you walk by the governor's office.

TONI LEAVES THE SCENE. NURSE OBAMA BREATHES HEAVILY AND THEN STORMS OUT OF THE SCENE BEFORE TAKING THE PAPER WEIGHT OFF WENDY’S DESK AND USES IT TO BREAK A WINDOW. 

WENDY

(Sarcastically) And it was lovely to see you again Nurse Obama.

WENDY CONTINUES HER FILING AND THEN HER OLD BOSS, QUEZNO, STRUTS IN.

WENDY (CONT’D)

Mr. Quezno you survived the hostage situation!

QUEZNO

Please Ms. Freshner, she was no threat to us. Like I told you I distracted her with something shiny and got away. You could of stayed longer.

WENDY

And get threatened by one crazy person was enough for me to quit. I should have quitted when you referred to the escaped mental patient.

QUEZNO

Again I did not say mental patient. You misheard me. Now I am here for my appointment. 

WENDY

You have an appointment here? Why does that not surprise me.

TONI(V.O.)

Come here you hunking burning body of deliciousness. 

TONI WALKS INTO THE SCENE LOOKING SENSUOUSLY.

WENDY

He is not your patient?! What is wrong with you? Have you hit your head or something?!

TONI IGNORES WENDY.

QUEZNO

No you come over here you tall luscious angel of mercy.

TONI GIGGLES AND THEN WALKS OVER FLIRTATIOUSLY OVER TO QUEZNO AND THEN THEY START MAKING OUT HARD AND HEAVY.

WENDY

Do you two even realize I am here?

 TONI AND QUEZNO GET MORE INTO IT. ANTONIA REMOVES QUEZNO’S JACKET AND TIE.

WENDY (CONT’D)

(Exasperated) Alright fine I can take a hint. By the way Ms. Applebam I quit.

WENDY FISHER STORMS OUT OF THE OFFICE. ANTONIA AND QUEZNO STOP KISSING.

TONI

Did you just hear something?

QUEZNO

I think your secretary just quit. She is really flaky. I wouldn’t recommend her.

END OF SKETCH.

 

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