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January 11, 2017
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Trump is very excited to have U2 perform at his Inauguration.


The 2017 Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival lineup has been announced, and Donald Trump is relieved to finally have a decent lineup of bands performing at his Inauguration.


To: TRUMP_inauguration-committee@trump.com
From: TRUMP@trump.com
Subject: Finally!

Hello this is Donald.

Great work to the whole team on getting U2 and Red Hot Chili Peppers to headline Inauguration.

Glad they are finally on board to #MAGA.

People think I don't like Bono; I don't have a problem with Bono.

Your jobs are safe for now because you are doing a good job. If you do a bad job, I will say "you're fired."

PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP

To: TRUMP@trump.com
From: Thomas_Barrack@trump.com
Subject: RE: Finally!

Hello, Mr. President-Elect!

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I believe you may be mistaking your Inauguration music lineup with that of the 2017 Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival?

Sincerely,

Thomas Barrack Jr., Committee Chairman
Inaugural Committee

To: Thomas_Barrack@trump.com
From: TRUMP@trump.com
Subject: RE: Finally!

Thomas (or should I say "Thomás"?),

I'm looking at the lineup right now, it says "U2" - who I've said don't have a problem with - Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Weeknd, etc. - I'm not gonna write the whole lineup here, cause it's huge (which is really, really great).

I'm still reading through this list but I'm seeing lotsa names. Lotsa names.

Is "Portugal. The man" two different bands? How does that work with the period? Is it a man? If so, I am on board. Not a fan of Portugal though.

THE DONALD.

To: TRUMP@trump.com
From: Thomas_Barrack@trump.com
Subject: RE: Finally!

Hello, President-Elect,

I want to clarify that none of these bands will be performing at our Inauguration on January 20th.

In truth, we have had a hard time getting bands to agree to perform. But we are very excited to have booked the Rockettes, The Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and Jackie Evancho thus far.

I will continue to update you as we confirm new acts.

Thomas Barrack Jr., Committee Chairman
Inaugural Committee

To: Thomas_Barrack@trump.com
From: TRUMP@trump.com
Subject: RE: Finally!

Hello "Barrack Jr",

Love the Rockettes. Great legs, I love when they kick their legs. Very talented!

I have no problems with the Mormons, they're great people, family people.

Who is "Jackie Evanch"?

TRUMP.

To: TRUMP@trump.com
From: Thomas_Barrack@trump.com
Subject: RE: Finally!

She is a sixteen year old phenom vocalist, winner of "America's Got Talent."

Thomas Barrack Jr., Committee Chairman
Inaugural Committee

To: Thomas_Barrack@trump.com
From: TRUMP@trump.com
Subject: RE: Finally!

Pics?

To: TRUMP@trump.com
From: Thomas_Barrack@trump.com
Subject: RE: Finally!

... I'm sorry?

Thomas Barrack Jr., Committee Chairman
Inaugural Committee

To: Thomas_Barrack@trump.com
From: TRUMP@trump.com
Subject: RE: Finally!

You said she's 16, she's a phenom, she was on a reality pageant with "America" in the title... Who better to judge all of these things than The Donald? Pics!

What ever happened to Sir Elton John? I thought I was gonna get to see THE PIANO MAN!

Also I'm looking at tickets to this and it's $300-$600 - maybe we should charge more?

TRUMP

To: TRUMP@trump.com
From: Thomas_Barrack@trump.com
Subject: RE: Finally!

Mr. President-Elect,

Unfortunately, Sir Elton John ended up declining our offer. Though I believe "The Piano Man" may be a reference to Billy Joel? Just to be sure, he has publicly stated he would not be willing to perform either.

As for ticket prices, I believe you are still looking at Bonnarooo. Once again, these are different events, and the Inauguration is a free, public event, so we will not be selling tickets.

Thomas Barrack Jr., Committee Chairman
Inaugural Committee

To: Thomas_Barrack@trump.com
From: TRUMP@trump.com
Subject: RE: Finally!

Hey guess what Thomas Hussein Barack Obama Jr.?

YOU'RE FIRED.

God I love saying that.

TRUMP

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