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Published August 14, 2012

 

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“There is just no way I can stay here”, said Jim as he walked out of the bobble-head factory. Who could blame him after what happened last week. Now jobless, Jim didn’t know where to start his new life. He had been at the factory for 10 years and really didn’t ever consider other options.

Sitting in his 1 bedroom apartment swigging Crest Mouthwash still attempting to get the “cousin” taste out of his mouth, Jim started perusing the internet. He checked the daily box score of his favorite team, looked at the lack of funds in his bank account and checked his email. None of the above brought any news worth smiling over.

Realizing the mouthwash wasn’t working, Jim grabbed an ice-cold Founding Fathers Lager and relaxed. Knowing these beers could be few and far between now that he doesn’t have a job; Jim decided to start looking at openings in nearby factories.

He checked all the standard sites out there: Munstur.com, JobBuilder; nothing. That’s when he decided to suck it up and take whatever job he could find. He went to the only place you can go for that; Gregslist.com. He searched for fulltime positions first, but nothing really jumped out at him.

“Do I really want a part-time job,” Jim thought. “Let’s see what’s out there.” Jobs ranged from washing dogs to washing old people; and everything in between. There was one however that Jim had an interest in. It was a janitor job. He figured the pay was right and the hours couldn’t be beat.

Finishing off his six-pack, Jim touched up his resume and sent it off to the email address listed in the ad. Much to his surprise, he received an email within a few hours. “We would love you to start ASAP,” said the email. “Please come into the office ready to work tomorrow.” Excited, Jim went to bed a happy man.

After a couple of days of training he was on his own in the building. His duties included the basic janitorial jobs such as mopping, buffering, waxing and just standard cleaning. Making his way to the 3rd floor conference room to clean up, Jim heard a muffled laughing sound coming from the room. Not sure what to make of it he hesitantly opened the door. “Oh hey there”, said a tall man inside. “I’m Larry Dansusky and these are my little friends”.

Not thinking twice, Jim dropped his mop and made his way out of Vappy Halley. “That’s the last time I get a job on Gregslist.”

The End.

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