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June 16, 2008
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i don't really have the energy or mental capacity to write anything of consequence today. between working, packing, and moving this past weekend i'm totally drained. i'm really only writing this to keep myself from passing out in front of the cash register at the cigar store.


i do, however, want to tell you all a little about my newest stalker...my landlord.


his name is miguel and the apartment i now reside in used to be his apartment, but then he messed up his back something fierce and his body can't take going up and down stairs...or so he says. anyway, he moved to the basement and now i have this awesome apartment with two floors and a deck. but miguel still looks at the apartment like it's his. we've been there less than two days and he's rang the door bell to tell us when garbage day is 4 times. he stayed in the apartment the ENTIRE time we were moving in (i actually had to ask him to leave) and when i left for work this morning i found him on MY deck, just standing there. when i asked him what he was doing he said he wanted to make sure the key to the deck worked...i told him i have a key and i can try it out at my leasure. plus his key is the original, so, of course it works. now i don't want to give a completely distorted picture of the man. he is a decent enough fellow. he talk waaaaaaay too much and repeats himself constantly (sometimes he'll say the same sentance three or four times in a row, like his brain gets stuck in a loop, or as if it's some sort of bizarre stutter). but he comes off asa loving father, a community oriented man and always seems to have peoples best interests in mind (well, his version of 'best interests', anyway). but he gives a 'dead-fish' handshake...you know, the one were he just puts his limp hand out there for you to grasp and shake around like a dead fish. i hate hate hate that handshake. every person i have ever met who gave me that sort of handshake has ended up being someone i could have gone my whole life without meeting and been happy and loved the world a little more. now, that is not to say that all people who give solid handshakes (or those infamous 'overshakers'...too long, too hard, too fast, whatever) are people that i like. but at least i get a good first impression (as worthless as they are in the long run, first impressions are important)...sorry, digression got a hold on me...back to my stalker... so he gives limp, bullshit handshakes, like he doesn't repsect me enough to grip my hand...and so does EVRERYONE in his family (3 kids and wife). if i leave the apartment (like hen i went out for food yesterday) he will come out of his basement door, or call out the window asking me where i'm going. he tried to give me a big speech about resposibility in the home when he saw me drinking rum and smoking a cigar (on the deck) to celebrate after we finished moving in. AND, even though he says he can barely climb the stairs he came up the stairs three times between 10pm-midnight, but didn't knock, didn't ring the bell, didn't even come all the way to the top. he just went slightly past halfway up and stood there for a few minutes...then went back down. i had to ask him what he was doing. he said it was therapy for his back...at that time of night? really? i'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this one...no i won't, he's a fucking stalker.


also, i forgot to mention. when he saw me smoking on the deck he actually told me i shouldn’t do that cause i might burn it all down. not just make burn marks and he wasn’t worried about the ash and butt-ends littering the deck, he was actually concerned that i would burn the deck down. why, did he stain it with lighter fluid?

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