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December 17, 2014
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Navy Releases Video of Swimming Shark Drone (That Will Eventually Shoot Weapons)

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Sharks are scary. We’ve all seen Jaws, we know what might be lurking beneath our legs as we tread water out on the open sea with our skimpy bikini bottoms the only thing between us and the inhuman destructive capability of a Great White. What you don’t know is from now on that destructive capability could come in the form of being eaten alive by razor sharp ROBOT shark teeth or being blown to bits by a missile (or LASER!) coming out of a weaponized shark drone’s mouth. The world is a terrifying, but endlessly surprising place!

A week after releasing video of the first ever deployed LASER weapon, the U.S. Navy released a video of SHARK DRONE. The shark drone mimics the movement of a tuna fish but has the signature dorsal fin of a shark. The Navy calls it the Ghostswimmer and it is part of what the military is calling its science-fiction-turned-reality projects. This particular project is being called Silent NEMO, after the cute Disney fish that did not have any plans to shoot torpedoes out of its mouth. Right now the drone is only being used as a reconnaissance robot, tracking tidal patterns and other nature-y stuff, but the plan is to eventually weaponize them.

Here’s footage of what the prototype looks like:

My first thought after seeing the video is, “Why sharks?” I mean, sharks are already scary and if someone sees a shark, they’re definitely not going to trust it and let it get closer. And certainly not close enough to blow it up with the, and I can’t stress this enough, TORPEDOS THAT WILL COME OUT OF THE DRONE SHARK’S MOUTH (probably). To me it seems to make more sense to put the weapons in cute things that potential enemies would trust and even want to come pet. A cute, doggy-paddling puppy or playful dolphin, for instance. Then, once the enemy trusts it enough to bend down and kiss it on the nose, BLAM-O!

If anyone has a connection with the Navy, tell them to DM. Dolphin Drone is just one of my many revolutionary ideas that they are going to want to send to R&D right away.

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