You might feel overwhelmed by the world (especially since it’s the holiday season). You’re not alone. We all need a break, and that’s what these tweets are: a break from the world.
happy halloween children i hope you enjoy your bucket of warm scrambled egg xox pic.twitter.com/ov0OsUCEDr— Chris SimpsonsArtist (@getbentsaggy) October 31, 2017
Peter Parker's main source of income is selfies.— Evan Kaufman (@EvanKaufman) April 22, 2014
there’s a fucking milhouse cosplayer reading radioactive man at the Bucks game pic.twitter.com/W7mLcWkhLo— the basketball mom (@capitalflowking) October 27, 2017
Most men can't find stair 1 roof access pic.twitter.com/GwqkSIpjoS— Jason (@ayyjqce) October 30, 2017
The strap on the back of crocs is so they stay on during sex— Sug Knight Shyamalan (@sug_knight) May 22, 2017
My boy put hand sanitizer on his desk and tried to cook spam in his dorm pic.twitter.com/77z22Jqygo— shaun 美しい思考 (@beyondshaun) October 28, 2017
*drinks a bottle of water*— Kim Thanks (@KimmyMonte) October 30, 2017
fuck yeh i’m gonna live forever
"Should I use a hyphen?"— John P. Lopez (@LopezOnSports) October 29, 2017
"Nah. You're good."
"Cool. Cool." pic.twitter.com/RA7vpIvQP8
Here is your hotel room. There are two electrical outlets hidden behind heavy furniture in the hardest to reach corners of the room. Enjoy.— Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) November 1, 2017
I put these on and tried to walk away, but I stumbled pic.twitter.com/PMl5CnTEVO— lee harvey (@heavy_flames) October 26, 2017
Kid: trick or treat— David Hughes (@david8hughes) October 7, 2016
Me [hands him a skateboard]: trick
Kid [stares blankly]: ...
Me: yeah I didn't think so. Get the fuck outta here
Arugala is my favorite vegetable that sounds like it's drowning.— 12HG (@tweetsvisual) November 1, 2017
I’m happy with most of the Lion King cast but THIS could be a big mistake: pic.twitter.com/NHuU8Etzc7— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) November 1, 2017
ah the saxophone. the "difficult whistle" as it is sometimes known— elliott ghoul'd (@stucline) October 29, 2017
My boy said weed makes you feel the way you should feel without weed. Thats the highest shit I've ever heard.— Petty Blocker (@TiricoHairline) December 27, 2016
Lol this cat looks like it's going thru a divorce and talking abt it in vanity fair pic.twitter.com/JRblvDnyrB— Flora Flora (@Flora__Flora) August 28, 2017
[hands hot dog vendor my credit card] leave it open— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) July 3, 2016
u think big bird can touch rim be honest— tan (@mineifiwildout) October 28, 2017
When your pants suspect something. pic.twitter.com/v9a4pr8Ora— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) October 27, 2017
If you like these articles there’s more of them here. If you want, spend your whole day pretending to work.