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July 13, 2011

The new trend for the mentally challenged from Australia, bricking, sweeps Hollywood in a big way.


“Bricking,” a fad which started years ago in Scotland and was later exported to Australia has swept America in recent months, and has become a trendy new pastime for celebrities.

Bricking consists of having yourself cemented into a brick wall with only your face exposed for periods of up to two or three days, often getting photographed during this time. Adult diapers are usually worn to take care of bodily functions and friends are depended upon for bringing food and beverages to those being “bricked,” as well as helping break the “bricked” person out when they’ve had enough.

“My cousins in Australia started bricking last fall, and they took a bunch of cool photos,” said singer Justin Bieber, who has been bricked a total of five times this summer.

"It’s tiring, a little dangerous and definitely not for the people with claustrophobia, but it’s kind of addictive.”

“It’s actually fun!” said pop diva Rihanna, whose first bricking was last week in a subdivision near Los Angeles.

“Yeah, there’s a lot of tourists who take pictures with you and you can’t do anything about it, but I didn’t mind too much.”
Other celebrities who have been said to enjoy “bricking” include actor Jason Segel, comedian Kathy Griffin and reality TV stars The Situation and Adrianne Curry.

Not all celebrities who have given the fad a try found it enjoyable.

“I’ve only done it once,” said Mad Men star Jon Hamm, “pretty much as a bar bet, and I was in that wall for thirty-two hours.’

‘While I was inside an endless parade of passers-by felt a need to either give me a detailed critique of the first three seasons of my show or simply toss cups of soda at me. It was kind of brutal.”

Hamm says that not only will he never get bricked again he’s swearing off of both gambling and drinking.

NBA star LeBron James found bricking to be an even more harrowing experience.

“Lord, let me tell you,” said James, “if you’re thinking of bricking remember two things.’
‘One, don’t get bricked in too close to the ground because eventually, the dogs will find you.’
‘Also, never, never, ever do it in Cleveland.”

Rapper Xzibit, a widely-respected authority on human rights history and the former host of the MTV show Pimp My Ride says that the trend is a celebration of a horrible crime against humanity.

“This fad is stupid and insensitive,” said the rapper.

“It started when the Roman Emperor Hadrian ordered a wall built to keep the Celts out of Roman-controlled England,” said Xzibit, “and they used live people, mostly enslaved Celts, to fill in gaps when they ran out of bricks. Educate yourselves.”

Yesterday the Malibu Fire Department discovered what appeared to be four celebrities who were “bricking.”

They soon discovered, however, that the four familiar faces were “bricked” against their will by non-fans, and that they had been stuck in an alley wall facing a garbage dumpster for four days.

The four were Mel Gibson, Kid Rock, Paris Hilton and Pauley Shore.

After twenty minutes of deliberation they decided to break them out of the wall.