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Published July 22, 2010

Digest the following information for friendly tips on social acceptance.

1.) If your house smells like cat urine so much that it makes people feel like their face is sunburned, you are cutting your chances of having sex by at least 50%. So, if your theoretical chance is already 25/100, your in the red on sex happening.

*This is an inverse relationship, so the stronger the cat pee smell, the less chance of sex. 50% is for a very faint cat odor. Let your friends know if their house smells like feline lemonade; some people can't smell this apparently.

2.)  Girls size penises when they are talking to a guy, just like a guy sizes boobs or butt. This happens even if they do not plan to have sex with you. It is a way of determining how they are going to perceive you (right or wrong, its hard to tell sometimes). Some like them big, some like them small, but either way they are subconsciously doing it (unless you smell like cat pee, then this rule is null).

Furthermore, if a girl says she likes small penises or doesn't care - she is either A.) lying to you, or B.) lying to herself. If you are a girl that has standards, don't settle. It will eventually catch up with you and you will be humping a bed post before you know it. 

Furthermore, performing cunnilingus actually makes a penis grow by 2 inches (more or less depending on skill level). 

3.) If you are fat, people are wondering how you have sex.  They might talk about it with others and discuss possible positions, noises, and smells.

4.) Tighty-whiteys are comparable to granny panties. Wear what you want, but sexy bedroom attire is not the sole responsibility of the female.

Also, shit stains are like period stains, so throw them away guys and gals- its gross!

One Dollar Bill


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