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August 30, 2010

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Slaernhower Sues For Slander
Monday, August 30, 2010

Casar, NC -- Turbulent redneck film company Le Cou Rouge is embroiled in yet
another dispute that continues to tarnish the image of this upstart studio.
Milial Slaernhower, a veteran member of the company's visual effects department,
has filed a suit in Cleveland County Courthouse against producers Stowe, Evans
and Blanson alleging slander.

According to Slaernhower, the company's publicity department released an
interview with film star Margaret N. Flait in which he felt he was
misrepresented.  The company's head of publicity, S. A. K. Perkins, NMD,
immediately came to the company's defense.  "We didn't do any such thing,"
asserted Perkins.  Pressed further, Perkins added "Well, maybe just a bit."

However, fellow employee Kenichi Bronson offered his own assessment of the
affair.  "Milial is a nasty little c**t who should have his balls cut off,"
opined Bronson.  "I hate looking at his big fat face every day.  I'm gonna throw
him out of the shed one day."

The "shed" is where the company's effects department is housed.  It is a former
chicken coop stacked floor-to-ceiling with old computers.  Bronson and
Slaernhower are responsible for coaxing computer-generated images from the
outdated equipment, as well as for wiping off the chicken dirt.

According to Bronson, Slaernhower is volatile, schizophrenic, and ugly.  And his
feet stink.

This is not the first time that Slaernhower has rattled the cages at Le Cou
Rouge.  In March 2010 he accused producer Evans of hiring a genie named Alphonso
to magically castrate him.  Asked why he thought Evans might be inclined to do
such a thing, Slaernhower replied at the time, "Just look at him."

In the latest incident, Slaernhower may again be grasping at pixies.  The
article against which the accusation is laid appeared here last Saturday, and no
mention of Slaernhower was made.  Nor was there any perceivable suggestion, no
matter how far-fetched, of Slaernhower.  The slander, insists Slaernhower, lies
in the omission.  It is unclear how the law stands for slander by failure of
inclusion.  No court date has been set.