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Published April 21, 2009 More Info »
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Published April 21, 2009
Today started off great!  I had a wonderful sleep.  Woke up a minute before my alarm, no frightening beep beep beep noise.  Hopped out of bed, went to say good morning to my boy.  Gave him some books to read and went to take a shower.  Great shower! Practiced my dance moves and sang into the shampoo bottle. (The Gambler)
Got out of the shower, got dressed for work.  Blue dress shirt (makes my eyes as blue as a robin eggs) and brown dress pants.  Stunning.  Then I went to get my boy Nick. 
Nick is potty training right now. " No more diapers little man" I said too him.  Everyday, he gets to pick what rad underwear he wants to put on that day.  Today he chose Super Mario. Awesome.
Down for breakfast.  Todays menu consisted of Blueberries, Toast, strawberry yogurt and a Flintstones Vitamin (he went with a purple Barney today).
We listened to his favorite CD while we ate "They Might Be Giants - Here come the 123's"  He loves the song "9 bowls of Soup".
Then it was time to get ready to go to the sitter.  "Nick, time to pee buddy" I said.  " NO, I'M PLAYING WITH MY TRUCKS!!" Nick yelled back. Bold. Daddy won that battle, or so he thought.  Nick is a very tall little guy, tall enough to stand in front of the toilet.  He holds his little winker and tries to hit the Cheerios that I toss in the water before he goes.  I stand behind him to make sure he is not getting it all over the place. Ok, SUCCESS! "Great job Buddy!" pull up your Mario underwear and lets get going.  I brought him over to the stairs and put his shoes on.  Nick has learned to put his own coat on ... Proud. 
Into the car we go.  Buckled into his car seat and off to the sitter.  A minute later I smelled something..."Nick, did you poop?!!" I asked him.  "No Daddy, I didn't poop" Nick said with a guilty look.  "Did you make a stink?" (what he calls farting) I asked him.  "Nope, I didn't do that" said Nick. 
What the hell was that smell... "Are you sure.. OH MY GOD!!!" I looked down and had shit from my thigh to my shin on my right pant leg!!!!!
First I looked over at the Burger King napkins and thought maybe ... no, go home you lazy bastard and change your pants! Home we went. (with the windows down)
When I thought that this day could not get any worse, I opened the door... Where I got Nick changed, the was shit all over the carpet... and ground in with my knee!!! (It looked a St. Bernard took a dump and then did the excited foot shuffle when the doorbell rings) AND Nick had Shit all up his back!
So Nick Shat the floor, shat his rad Mario underwear, and shat my pants.  Well done little Bro, Good effort!

Moral of the story....

Let the Little guy finish playing with his trucks and don't stand behind him while he is peeing after he has eaten Blueberries.

Hope your day is Terrific.

Jeff
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