President Elect Barack Obama received a restraining order against one of his former political friends, who goes by the name of Rev. Jesse Jackson, today. The judge ruled in favor of President Elect Obama on the charges of stalking, creating a religious cult sponsored by Proctor & Gamble, and sending Obama an empty canister of Planter’s peanuts, with the cryptic note: “I got your nuts, boy! I got your nuts!”
President-elect Obama refused comment, but privately shared with aides that he kept hope alive that he was finally rid "…of that incredibly creepy person".