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September 21, 2016
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The new Tinder/Spotify partnership is exciting and all, but face it, no one cares what you can do with a Tinder profile unless it can make people horny for you.

Tinder and Spotify announced a partnership yesterday that allows Tinder users to choose a song from Spotify as their “anthem” that will play on their Tinder profile inside the app as well as a playlist of their favorite songs from Spotify.

Exciting! But what we all really wanna know is how to leverage the Spotify integration into getting prospective dates horny for us. So we asked a few Tinder users:

Which Spotify Profile Song Makes You The Horniest?


Brendan, 27
What I’m looking for in a Spotify song on a potential date’s Tinder profile is the same thing I look for in a date: the right balance of tenderness and intensity, showmanship and thoughtfulness. No song captures all of those attributes while also getting me revved up in the boner department quite like Meatloaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That).”


Tricia, 35
I’d say either “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift or “Formation” by Beyonce get me horniest. Oh wait, does Spotify have Meatloaf? Nothing gets me bouncing ’n bubbling in all my juiciest places like the opening piano notes of “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That).” If I see a Tinder profile picture while that songs playing? Heh heh, let’s just say I’m “locked and loaded.“


Hillary, 29
Meatloaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” hands down gets me wettest.


Barry, 49
“Hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot” is a good way to describe me looking at a Tinder profile when their “anthem” is Meatloaf’s 1993 smash hit “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That).” The imagery makes me horny.


Frederick, 37
Oooh, that’s a good one, we live in such an exciting time for romance, huh? Let me close my eyes and picture it….OK, so I’m scrolling through a potential date’s profile, I click on their song and what song will get me all juiced up? Like, horny-meter-turned-to-11? Asphalt hard boner? Full plump and juicy balls? Ummmm, I’m hearing a man’s voice. And that man is Meatloaf. And he is singing “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That).” WHEW! That was thriling! Do you wanna fool around or what?


Samantha, 24
Well, in my wildest dreams, of course I’d want to hear Meatloaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” in a potential Tinder match’s profile, but the problem is, there’s just no good single guys who listen to Meatloaf anymore. My parents fell in love to Meatloaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” blasting from my dad’s Chevette stereo. Why can’t dating be like it used to be? THAT’S what gets me horny, thinking of going on the same dates my mom and dad went on.


Carl,
Umm, that’s a tough one, I like most music. New hits, classic rock, old school hip hop and the newest R&B available, I listen to it all! But once I hear the breakdown a minute into Meatloaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That).” I’m basically popping sausage.


Vanessa, 26
I’m so over online dating. The whole thing feels so contrived and performative. Since when did dating and romance have to feel so…compulsory. I’ve decided that if love is not going to happen organically I refuse to force it just because some Silicon Valley tech-heads think they can map and code the closest thing we have in this world to actual magic. On the other hand, the only way I can get off is if Meatloaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That).” is playing, so knowing someone likes that song before I start dating them would be valuable.


Rebecca, 33
Oh my God, do YOU online date? I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years so I don’t even know how that online dating stuff works or ever get horny anymore. Can I play with your Tinder app, it looks so fun!

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