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April 06, 2011

Crime fighting isn't for those in Mensa.

Captain and Officer

Captain: what do you have on this downtown incident?
Officer: seems the guy was ex-military, former navy walrus.
Captain: that is seal you idiot.
Officer: I’m not an idiot. And neither is Seal. He’s ugly but no man banging Heidi Klum is an idiot.
Captain: dammit! What else do you have on this guy?
Officer: Not much captain. He came in blasting and left blasting. Customers dropped to the floor. They are all just reporting that he wore gel-kayano’s and had hairy ankles.
Captain: what did he get away with?
Officer: Armed robbery sir.
Captain: dammit! I know that. How much?
Officer: not much captain, 10k or so.
Captain: what about video footage.
Officer: nothing from the bank but a couple customers recorded from their phones.
Captain: great, what do we got.
Officer: Well sir he wore gel-kayano’s and had hairy ankles.
Captain: dammit! We can get a how-to-do your own heart surgery on youtube and all we get are the guy’s ankles!
Officer: some of the shins too. They are hairy as well.
Captain: right. Let’s put out an APB on this guy. Wait, how do you know he was ex-military?
Officer: He dropped his business card. After Iraq he went into home decorating and chimney sweeping.