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December 07, 2008
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Female: And now, my last 6 month relationship.

 

Flowers? You are so sweet! I never had anyone bring me flowers for a blind date. This was a lot of fun. We should do it again sometime. Next Friday sounds good. Flowers? Two dates, two times you bring me flowers! You are so incredible. That is so funny. Hey, why don’t we go back to your place? Mmm, you’re so sexy. Yeah, that’s it. Harder. Harder! Why won’t you go down on me? Okay, I’ll trim. It gets all itchy. Flowers again. I’m running out of places to put them. Why don’t we stay in tonight? I heard bad things about that movie, let’s just see what’s on television. Harder! HARDER! Do you know what harder means? I’m sorry, don’t stop. No, you were doing fine. You want to spend the night? That is so funny. You make me laugh. You’re so handsome you’re making my sister jealous. Stop looking at my sister. YOU DID WHAT WITH MY SISTER? I don’t care if it ‘just happened’, how could you do that to me? It doesn’t make a difference if it was “just a kiss”, you cheated on me with my sister and I never want to talk to you again! Flowers. No, I’m sorry, you said it was her fault and she said it was her fault and I just didn’t want to believe she’d do that to me. Let’s never fight again. HARDER! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, HARDER! I didn’t mean that. Just shut up and go to sleep. I don’t care, what do you want to do? You shut up! I don’t care. Flowers, great. You know that every problem can’t be solved with fucking flowers, right? Honey, harder. Just put some fucking muscle into it! HARDER! I don’t do it anymore because you don’t do it anymore. I don’t want to trim. It itches! Fine, I’ll trim if you trim. That just looks weird. You used to be funny. I don’t care, what do you want to do? HARDER! SHUT UP! We need to talk about our relationship. HARDER! Is this even worth it? Flowers, I don’t care. Flowers are meaningless to me now! HARDER, YOU PUSSY! HARDER! What were you doing alone with my sister? I don’t believe you! No! Get out! HARDER! What do you want to do tonight? Stop it, I’m not in the mood. This is just too predictable for me. I need some adventure in my life. I’m sorry. HARDER! No, you shut up! Flowers? Shove the flowers up your ass. Your mother is so nice. I can’t do this anymore! Stop making jokes around my friends, you’re embarrassing me. HARDER! STOP IT! You’re like a child.

 

What? But what did I do? Fine. Go.

 

The End.

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