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May 20, 2016

Finally sex can be as fun as running on a treadmill!

Popular porno site PornHub has launched a sex fitness game called “BangFit.” The program has players/exercisers/horny love makers score points by mirroring certain athletic sex acts and then giving the sexers scores they can share on social media. These are our initial reactions to this news.

  • Finally sex can be as fun as running on a treadmill!
  • Um, no thanks. I masturbate to feel sad and alone, not psyched and empowered.
  • In a couple weeks I’ll be able to fit into the cockring that I wore to prom!
  • No thanks, I already signed up for the BangBus Pure Barre Class.
  • I won’t be able to use it because it might reaggravate an old college penis injury.
  • Exercising during sex? But that’s the only time I get to myself.
  • This will help me with my New Year’s resolution to get a thinner dick.
  • Nothing new to me, I already fuck on a Stairmaster.
  • Now it won’t seem so weird when I refuse to take off my weight lifting belt while receiving oral sex.
  • I don’t care what mom says, I’m never gonna let my little brother play this one.
  • Does this mean I have to wear my knee brace during sex? That’s going to make me and my wife’s knee pit-sex way less fun.
  • Isn’t sex and exercise at the same time what Zoomba is?
  • I’ve been looking for a way to let my friends know that I exercise AND have more sex than them.
  • This is great news for my big ole waggly pussy lips — those babies are gonna be back in fighting shape in no time.
  • Does your…uh…does your (cough) dick have to be a certain size for this to work?
  • If masturbation is an acceptable form of exercise then why do I have this lifetime ban from 24 Hour Fitness?
  • Does your…uh…does your (cough) pussy have to be a certain size for this to work?
  • Actually, I’m getting a pretty good workout from silently turning away from my partner and then resenting them all night.
  • This is perfect, video game sounds already make me super horny!