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July 30, 2017
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Finally, an app that's actually useful.

There’s nothing like seeing a movie on the big screen, especially action-packed summer blockbusters. Unfortunately, the downside of seeing these long movies in the theater is you can’t just press pause when you need a break. So what do you do when you’re deep into the second act of the latest Marvel movie, and realize you just can’t wait for a hand job?

We’ve all been there. And while there’s nothing quite like a furtive public HJ in a darkened theater, you don’t want to miss a crucial scene, especially with the crazy ticket prices these days. Luckily, a genius new app is here to solve all your third-base scheduling problems.

When2Rub takes all the guesswork out of your movie hand jobs by pinpointing the best times during every movie to divert your attention away from the plot and onto your junk. And it’s constantly updated to include the latest big releases (pun intended!).

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Simply download the app and search the movie you’re about to see, and When2Rub will give you an overview of the best scenes for manual stimulation, including:

Long opening credit sequences
All of this information will be available at the end, so why waste precious hand job time reading it at the beginning?

Repetitive training montages
No need to watch these— you already know the main character is going to get good at the thing they’re trying to do.

Exposition scenes
No one wants to listen to boring conversations where characters explain the plot, so this is the perfect time to zone out with a hand down your pants.

Action sequences
Loud explosions are perfect for covering up those weird noises you make when you climax.

Sex scenes
You don’t necessarily want to miss these, but they’re a perfect time to get a hand job—you’ll feel like you’re in the movie. It’s like surround sound, for your penis.

When2Rub also includes a handy countdown timer that makes your phone vibrate when it’s go-time, which is as stimulating as it is useful! So whether you’re on a date, or even just taking care of yourself (no judgement), you’ll never want to be without this ingenious app. Because no one should have to sit through an entire movie holding in their boner!

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