You have to admit Donald Trump’s ability to alienate entire ethnicities and racial groups is impressive. It is of course nothing to be proud of but the amount of ignorance and hate he projects in such full force is unlike anything we’ve seen in awhile. Most recently, Trump had the well respected Univision journalist Jorge Ramos removed from a press conference in Iowa.
Ramos later spoke toThe Washington Post about how this was not the first time Trump and his campaign have refused to speak with his team at Univision..
Trump has made wild allegations about Mexican people, calling them rapists and stated that if elected he would stop birthright citizenship, something two of his competitors, Marco Rubio and Bobby Jindal have both benefitted from. While he’s been criticized for being unable to detail just exactly how he’d go about enforcing his plan, from his interactions with Ramos and Univision, it seems his actual immigration plan will be to ignore Latinos and pretend they don’t exist so that they’ll go away. Supposing such is the case and if Univision is ever manages to get an interview with him, this is how that conversation would play out.
Jorge Ramos: Hi there Mr. Trump. Thank you for finally taking the time to meet with us and discuss your immigration policy should you be elected president.
Donald Trump: I can’t hear you. Nah nah nah nah boo boo.
JR: I am going to pretend you didn’t just say that because you’re 69 years old and seriously running for president of this country. Now, you’ve said that you intend on building a wall on the Mexican border and having Mexico pay for it. How do you intend on making that actually happen?
DT: Brrr, is it cold in here? It’s like a feel a breeze rustling through my hair. The breeze of a loser! Also yes, I am 69. heh heh heh
JR: Mr. Trump, I am sitting right in front of you. Please respond to these questions about the statements you’ve made regarding your immigration policy.
DT: Whoa! I didn’t realize this chair could talk! Get the cameras in here! If we film the first talking chair, we’ll be rich!
JR: I am a human man, sir.I am not a chair. I am going to continue. You’ve also said you plan to round up the 11 million immigrants who are in this country illegally and send them home. Many have criticized this as being near impossible, yet you’ve promised to do it. How and why?
DT: Man, I am so bored. I wish someone was in here talking to me right now. I’d tell them all about my plan to build a big wall and trick Mexico into paying for it and then send all the illegals to the other side of that wall. They don’t even have to be Mexican! I’ll send Italians and the Chinese over there, too! Ha! I’ll send anyone who doesn’t look like me to the other side of that wall. Too bad no one is in this room to ask me about my brilliant ideas.
JR: DON, THIS IS INSANE. I AM RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU. I AM ASKING YOU THESE QUESTIONS. THIS IS INSULTING AND CHILDISH.
DT: Oh hey there! (he waves right at Jorge Ramos)
JR: HELLO! Yes, hi. Talk to me, Donald.
DT: (he continues waving and leans further over in his chair to reveal he’s waving to his own reflection in the window.) You look good, Mr. Trump. Sure is lonely up here at the top.
DT: (to himself) Sure is! By the way, have I mentioned how beautiful your daughter is!
DT: Why thank you! She is so sexy and gorgeous. I am very proud of her. Yours as well.
(Donald Trump makes sexual faces at his own reflection for a very long time, while Jorge Ramos is stunned and silent.)
JR: I am a respected journalist. I can’t be doing this. This is the biggest waste of my time. I cannot stoop to this level. I need a break. (to his assistant off camera) Book me the soonest flight to Aruba. I need a vacation.This is insanity. I’m out of here.
(Jorge Ramos stands up and walks out of the room.)
DT: And that’s my plan, you losers!
JR: (outside of the building, getting into his car) I know Trump is in there thinking he just got me out of the country but just because I’m Latino doesn’t mean I’m not a legal US citizen. I am. I’m coming back after my vacation to Aruba.
DT: (still sitting in chair staring at his own reflection.) I love you Donald Trump.