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August 16, 2016

On the heels of major cast announcements, here are all the quips, retorts and sassy remarks you’ll hear in the upcoming Deadpool sequel.

On the heels of major cast announcements for Deadpool 2, the follow-up to this year’s raunchy superhero sensation, we’ve acquired the full list of quips, retorts and sassy remarks you’ll hear from Ryan Reynolds’ foul-mouthed superhero character in the upcoming Deadpool sequel. Full disclosure, we have not gotten access to the script, only the quips – so these might not make total sense out of context. But if you use your imagination, you can totally see these being hilarious (NSFW):


One of the many sassy zingers from ‘Deadpool 2’ that, if heard it in context, would make you LOL your dick off.

  • Funny, that’s what Batman said about your momma’s ass!
  • Mango chutney? On a superhero’s salary?!
  • Don’t go there, Janis!
  • Ouch, sword subject.
  • You literally have balls for teeth and you’re criticizing my driving?
  • [farts] Hashtag blessed.
  • Who invited very tall Yoko Ono?
  • Time to crowdsource some recipes…
  • (singing) “That’s the sound of the man, twerking on a plane…”
  • Do these human heads make me look fat?
  • I can’t stress enough how bad of movie Green Lantern was.
  • [walking in fresh sneakers on pile of corpses] Damn, Daniel!
  • Allllllrighty then!
  • You look like a pile of dog anuses had vaginal sex with a Koala drawing.
  • You look like Danny Tanner tit-fucked a plate of clams.
  • You look like Bob Costas took a shit in a child’s crib and put a blanket and a tiny Cincinnati Bengals cap on it.
  • You look like a candy Steve Buscemi covered in Hello Kitty band-aids.
  • Fuck you, Dad.
  • Uh, yeah, lemme get a tall mocha latte and some NICER FRIENDS.
  • Netflix…and kill?
  • I hate to be a Debbie Downer but your dick just fell off.
  • Who invited tall, Russian Yoko Ono?
  • Happy Columbus Day, turtle man. [jumps off building]
  • Marcy-fuckin’-Playground… I knew you pricks would show up.
  • A DOG Wolverine? There’s nothing in the rule book against it!
  • [slings tote bag over shoulder] Totes.
  • Yass kween! Lemonade Fridays!
  • You gonna build me a ship with that hammer, David?
  • Pop quiz: Am I in a movie right now?
  • Sister, If I wanted my butt hair braided I’d call a professional.
  • Time to aggregate some content…
  • Time to Finnish what I started…
  • Time to make the donuts…bleed.
  • Relax! We’re literally on the island of Lesbos!
  • Mekka lekka hi, mekka heiney DON’T GO THERE!
  • Milk, milk, lemonade, ‘round the corner…the Dixie Chicks?
  • And I thought beans were the musical fruit!
  • Come on Ross, you’re a paleontologist, dig a little deeper. This is Deadpool saying this, not Phoebe from Friends.
  • Penis, Regis. Final answer.

Now you don’t have to see the movie!