1. Re-cast Lincoln as a mid-thirties women who is trying to focus on her career (Hot, but doesn’t realize it)
2. Needs new title/location. Gettysburg is a bore. Change to “Manhattan Minute Starring Abraham Lincoln”
3. Needs a talking dog/sidekick that’s good at ‘riffing’ (ideally UCB trained)
4. Add a joke or two to break the tension. (i.e., “and then I said, that’s not a horse, that’s my wife!”)
5. Deliver the speech as part of a “Carpool Karaoke” with James Corden
6. Have the “Lincoln” character take in an inner city black child and foster him into a professional football player.
7. “Four Score and Seven Years Ago”- way too ‘inside baseball’; change to 87 years.
8. Superheroes are in right now. Let’s give him a superpower and a troubled past. Like, he can travel anywhere in time, expect to save his wife.
9. Needs music. Maybe make this a song? Or a rap, like Hamilton? Just ideas.
10. Needs a catchphrase. Like, Lincoln Out! or Rebels be trippin’!