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Published February 02, 2013 More Info »
15 Funny Votes
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Published February 02, 2013

I'd love to make little funny videos, but have neither the time, skill or cast to do so. So, I'm introducing a new series "No Video Skills Theatre" which I'm spelling "Theatre" instead of "Theater" because it is more pretentious that way.

INT.  HOUSE - EVENING

A party in full swing with people milling about or paired in conversation clumps. A man (Peter) walks up to another man standing alone against a wall (Charles). The man has a large red wine stain on his shirt.

PETER

Hey, Charles! How are you?

CHARLES

Good. How are you, Peter.

PETER

Good! Gosh, I haven't seen you since you were dating... um... what was her name?

CHARLES

Adele.

PETER

Oh right. Adele. Mm. Sort of an ugly breakup, eh?

CHARLES

You could say that.

A woman walks up to Charles, angrily slaps him, and then walks away shaking her head with distain.

PETER

What was that about?

CHARLES

(shrugs)

Happens all the time.

PETER

So, I heard you settle down?  Married now?

Another woman walks up. Charles winces and then relaxes. He reaches out to put his arm around the woman.

CHARLES

Peter, this is my wife, Gwendolyn

GWENDOLYN

Hi, nice to meet you.

PETER

(shakes Gwendolyn's outstretched hand)

Hi nice to meet you. So... are you a singer?

GWENDOLYN

I'm a receptionist.

PETER

Oh. (mumbles) So no castle.

GWENDOLYN

What's that?

PETER

You're not rich, own a house like a castle, nothing like that.

GWENDOLYN

No.

PETER

Hm.

Woman storms up and throws a glass of wine in Charles' face.

WOMAN

(screaming at Charles)

How could you DO that to her? She LOVED YOU! SHE. LOVED. YOU!

(woman sobs and runs off)

CHARLES

(calmly)

Dear, the towel...

Gwendolyn reaches into her large purse and pulls out a towel already stained with red wine. She hands it to Charles who uses it to wipe his face and chest.

PETER

So...do you ever talk to Adele anymore?

CHARLES

(cleaning himself off)

She stopped by unexpectedly the one time. Other than that, no.

PETER

That new guy of hers is sort of like you.

CHARLES

No. Not really. He's better. He's a lot, lot better.

PETER

Oh. Well...at least you know she wishes the best for you.

CHARLES

(stares at Peter for several seconds)

Shut up. OK Peter? Just shut up.

PETER

Right. Well, no worries. Sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts ---

CHARLES

SHUT. UP.

Peter nods and wanders off as another woman walks by and slaps Peter.

CHARLES

(to Gwendolyn)

You were right. Too soon. Think it's time to go.

Gwendolyn nods and they leave.

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