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Published March 28, 2013

 

This is a paper I turned in for my sociology class and I got an F from Mr. Franklin! He’s a real JERKOFF! Take a look for yourself at how good this paper is.
 

THESIS: Dog fighting is something dogs should deal with, it’s not a problem for people. I’m getting really sick of people talking about stop dog fighting this and that dogfighting is bad that -- give it up already, it’s between the DOGS! People -- would you like dogs getting all p-o’ed (pissed off) at you about how you fight with other people? NO?! Well, then let the dogs sort these problems out on their own!


FACT 1: Dogs sometimes have problems with other dogs that they need to fight about, just like people. When Amber told me that she kissed Tyler, you can bet I was p’o-ed (pissed off), and I wanted to punch her. But my mom and Mr. Franklin both said that’s not how ‘civilized’ people act. Well, I’ll tell you this -- I was so mad at Amber for TWO WEEKS and finally one day at free period, when we were changing out for gym, I went up to her and said ‘Listen, Amber, you and I are NOT doing good - in fact, I HATE YOU.’ And we pulled each other’s hair and I gave her a damn bloody nose. But after that, we laughed a ton and now we’re good friends again. Sometimes you GOT to fight. Let dogs have that right too!


FACT 2: Ain’t none of your business, people! Everyone at school was asking me if I was going fight Amber after free period when we were changing out for gym. I just put my hood on my head and put my headphones on and BLASTED Carrie Underwood. I also gave them my hand and said ‘talk to the hand’ -- it was nobody’s business if I wanted to fight Amber. That’s why I believe it’s the dogs right to have it out and we should mind our damn beeswax. That’s what I think, at least.


FACT 3: Dogs sometimes are just flirting when it looks like they’re fighting. You probably think I mean me and Amber - you’re right! Nah - just playing! I mean when Tyler and I used to pretend to push each other during free time and one time he flicked me on the nose and said I was nosy, but it was because I was listening to him talk about how he liked my butt to Brian. He said it was like a heart shape and he liked that. Anyway, even though we’d get so rough at free time, we were always just playing. Dogs sometimes look like they’re fighting... but they’re NOT!


FACT 4: What’re you gonna do, make the dogs go to SICATRISTS (spelling?)?! And if you think THAT, do you think they’d go to people sicatrists (spelling?)? Because that would be even wacker!


CONCLUSION: In conclusion, dogs are going to fight -- especially with their best friends or Tyler -- and it’s not our right to get in there and tell them they have to act civilized! Sometimes you HAVE to go nuts and scream and punch your friend in the arm; why is that any different for dogs?

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