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June 17, 2009
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There I said it! It feels so nice to get it out there. I. Hate. Pizza.

Yeah, that’s right, besides flags, I hate the other thing that American’s most love. Pizza is gross. It’s cheese and bread and symbolizes the only two things that are wrong with this country:

Lack of self control – You think you should be able to eat pizza whenever you want? Wrong! It’s a food item that is designed to destroy you. First, with it’s power packed carbs and secondly with it’s artery blocking greasy cheese. The same reason people eat pizza is the same reason people buy Hummers. Cause they wannna!!!

Bargains – Bargains are 99% of the time the wrong choice for you. The same reason you shouldn’t buy an ugly shirt because it’s on sale is the same reason you shouldn’t eat a whole slice of pizza cause it’s cheap. The shirt you’ll just keep in the closet and the pizza you’ll poop out over the course of the entire next day, in soft, cat poop like skinny stringy bowl movements.

I hate pizza and I hate America

*** Please note, because of my lactose intolerance I am apt to hate on things because my body simply cannot digest them. I wish I could eat pizza, but I can’t (see the section about soft cat poop). So instead, I will attack the people who can and pizza itself. Thank you.
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