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Jefferey Belaphonte

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November 08, 2011

"Fuck You doctor im not yellow its my new fake tan."

Hi there Children,

Caught me at a bad time here just arguing with this building.

So today i would like to talk to you about Alcoholism and liver damage that may follow this hobby, and ways you can avoid damaging yourself.

So there you are half past 5 in the morning pissing against a wall when you notice the faint tinge of yellow on your skin, and you can be sure it isnt piss as your's is running clear tonight (for once). you brush it off as someone's fake tan.

but when you wake in the morning you notice the severity of the situation, and you can only pretend it doesn't exist before someone notices your face is yellow too.

you my friend have liver damage and your skin is turning yellow, this is a bad sign.

to be honest this would be a bad sign for any one, so here are my top 5 tips to stop this from happening.

1. drink some water once in a while if you want to save time on drinking water get ice cubes in all of your drinks.
2. apply fake tan or get a really dark natural tan to hide this horrid tinge to your skin.
3. hire a nurse to take care of you, down side to this is she will insist you goto hospital which will drastically cut into your drinking time.
4. Do not under any circumstances drink goldshlagger, that shit will destroy your gut and make you worse.
5. drink responsibly, always keep a twenty in your sock just incase, you need to get a suicide round in for everyone.

I hope i have been helpful, good night.