Full Credits

Stats & Data

June 03, 2017

Give your graduate a special gift of a MemoryTag video card.

This week is graduation week for lots of students and it’s time we celebrated them and their attempts to join the world as almost-adults,hopefully to become less ignorant than we ourselves as adults are now.

Think of the transformation.

It’s almost a miracle.

Your grad started their journey arriving at high school as an underclass-person with timid trepidation; that means they were scared shi’tless. The hallways at high school were ten times larger than the tiny middle school from which they’d come and the students, hundreds of them now, jammed every corner.

Your grad thought, “Oh my God!”

The teachers were different too. Where in middle school they had looked a little like parents somehow, with a little bit of toleration for whatever your problem was, here at high school they looked sterner, more remote, less apt to tolerate failure.

Your grad had a math teacher, a crazy-looking guy who wore a crewcut and had strange red pockmarks on his face and who said during a lesson “The mean-proportional of the obtuse triangle is equidistant to the ratio of the trapezoidal equivalent of a hexagonal, multi-coangular, credoscrantz, angular coalition.”

Then he said, “Is that clear? It better be there’s a test tomorrow.”

Your grad said, “Oh no! Sh’t!”

School was sometimes a test of survival.

There was that bully in high school who was picking on your grad and your grad never told you about it. A sadist who would hang out near your grad’s locker waiting for your grad to show up so he could keep your grad from opening their locker and your grad would have to go away or wait until the bully was gone to use their locker.

Sometimes the bully would stare into your grad’s eyes and threaten, “If you ever tell……”

Luckily for your grad the bully’s parents were forced to buy the silence of the parents of another student the bully had abused at mid-semester paying them money to keep them from filing a complaint with the police and then had to leave town taking the bully with them to terrorize other kids.

There were minor problems. In a geography class your grad picked El Salvador to do a report on but then goofed off and didn’t do the report, which normally would take weeks of work—not until it was too late.

The geography teacher angrily asked your grad, “Where’s your report?”

Your grad pointed.

“But this is just one page,” the teacher said.

“El Salvador is a very small country,” your grad said.

You were summoned to high school to talk about your grad’s attitude, but the problems got ironed out. Suddenly your grad knuckled down and did first class work and developed a positive attitude.

There were also good times in high school, pep rallies your grad was forced to attend whether they wanted to or not, membership in high school clubs, endearing friendships some of which will last a lifetime.

At the high school prom your grad asked another grad to the prom and they accepted and your grad got all dressed up and during the evening was so nervous and ran out of things to say that your grad kept saying over and over “It was nice weather today.”

The other grad finally said, “We’ve already established that fact.”

Growing up is hard.

Then came college. Oh no!

Your grad thought the teachers in high school were unforgiving.Here they were positively frigid. College seemed a breath of freedom, no more mandatory assemblies, but now it was sink or swim. If you didn’t show up to class the teacher didn’t care. If you didn’t achieve it was your problem you were out and nobody was going to hold your hand.

Some of the teachers your grad had were truly inspirational people, and a few were maladjusted, perverted people, like the biology teacher who got mad because he had wanted to become a famous molecular biologist, but instead wound up at this (he thought) po-dunk college, and his mother always said to him “When are you gonna get a real job?”

He’s mad about it so he takes it out on your grad, giving them an on-the-spot quiz test as punishment in front of other students—a test your grad couldn’t hope to pass—deliberately designed to humiliate—because your grad had put away some owl droppings (turds) and washed hands a little too early in the class. This professor had a chip on his shoulder and wanted to make an example of your grad.

He got his accidental comeuppance later when your grad mistakenly showed up at the class at a wrong time and saw another professor giving a lecture, and that professor stopped his lecture and in front of 300 students asked your grad what he wanted? Your grad said the other teacher (the mean guy) had said he could use the lab anytime.

Your grad had gotten it wrong, the mean guy hadn’t said that and your grad had come to the lab on the wrong night.

That professor later chewed the mean professor’s ass up one side and down the other.

The next day the mean professor angrily told his class, “If I ever find out who did this….(came to the lab at the wrong time).

Your grad remained silent and slid down in their seat a little bit.

Most professors however were great.

Now your grad is graduating and they’ve earned the right to wear a funny-looking hat and a flowing gown.

Give your grad a MemoryTag video card.

You can download the MemoryTag app and using your smartphone record a message and place it on the patch on the card. Your grad downloads the app, opens the card and views your message with their smartphone. In the video you tell your grad how proud you are of them that they overcame all these hurdles with good grades.

It took a lot of heartache, sweat, tears and joy to reach this point. Graduates are the future, given the golden chance—to make the world abetter place. https://memorytag.cards/.