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November 14, 2011

Cards for an occasion that everybody has but nobody wants to mention

During the holidays people should come together and love each other.

But when it comes to you we are never far enough apart

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To my ex on a special day

Thank you for making me gay


I’ve heard the good news

You’re pregnant  news travels fast when you get around


Just a little goodbye before you leave town

Goodbye, so long, glad you’re gone


I know your in a bind and I’d like to help you out

But can’t because all my money went to your welfare


Thinking of you and thought you could use a vacation

Enclosed is a one way ticket to hell


# 3 Dad

Happy fathers day to the third best Dad.  Almost number one.

 But as you taught me almost doesn’t count.


Congratulations on your cross into womanhood.

Next time think of your reputation before losing your virginity to guy you don’t know.


Thinking of you

Actually I was thinking of  _____ people and you were the first person who came to mind.


Happy Birthday

Another year closer to receiving my inheritance.


Miss you

Not really I just wanted to remind you how glad I am you are not here.


Congrats on your new baby

Who’s the father


Late B-day card.  Sorry it took so long

I was deciding weather or not your worth a present and your not.  So here is this card.


Forgot your Birthday

Because I am still trying to forget the day you were born


To my friend

I woke up today and realized I hate you


To my sibling

Are you sure you weren’t adopted


Happy Grandparents Day

You could not raise my parents.  So what makes you think you could help raise me