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September 30, 2014
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Everything dies, including beloved television comedy programs. Such is life.

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The new fall TV season is here, and it’s the last year for many long-running comedies, including Two and a Half Men and Cougar Town. Here’s how all the rest of the sitcoms will, eventually, end.

The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon, Leonard, and the rest of the scientists retire after they solve all of science.

Nurse Jackie
Jackie (Edie Falco) finally gets that promotion to doctor.

Parks and Recreation
It’s “will they or won’t they” no longer as Parks and Recreation finally get married.

Workaholics
The workaholics admit that they have a problem with workahol and give control of their lives over to a higher power.

The Mindy Project
After working on it for years, Mindy unveils “The Mindy Project”: a diorama of the first Thanksgiving.

Community
The series ends quietly in season 15, with the cast down to Magnitude and Fat Neal and streaming on Travelocity.com.

Mom
Mom (Allison Janney) finally gets that promotion to doctor.

2 Broke Girls
The characters demand that the laugh-track audience tells them what is so damn funny.

Last Man Standing
A Tim Allen sitcom?! This show went off the air in 1999, idiot.

Mike and Molly
Melissa McCarthy’s lawyers nullify the contract that inexplicably ties the A-list movie star to this obscure sitcom.

New Girl
The new girl (Zooey Deschanel) ages until she rechristens herself “The Old Girl, aka The Crone” and wanders The Wastes in search of The Staff of Light.

The Middle
Crippling poverty.

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