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As I lay there in bed the other night in an empty house, I was extremely bored. The girlfriend was at work and the night of television was quite unacceptable. So what else does a guy do? That’s right… whack the weasel. As I decided to take part in the sacred male activity I skimmed through my porn collection. And it soon hit me that I forgot to stop by the scumbag, glory hole infested, porn house to expand my library. I decided to use the good old fashioned imagination. As I scanned my internal library I go through all the ex girlfriends. The one who could suck a mean dick, but wasn’t always yours. Or maybe, the one who let you shove it in her ass, but was a whacko. As I scanned through all the girlfriends who ripped out my heart or were a waste of time, I picked one. Once you’re done your male ritual and are ready to clean up, there’s always one thing to say, Thanks for the memory …… bitch.