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May 03, 2010


I think I'm losing control.  I probably need therapy.  Anybody know a good shrink?  And cheap?  No?  Ah, screw it.  Probably wouldn't help anyways.

So, I'm sitting on the front porch the other day, enjoying enjoying a perfect Makers Mark Manhattan (3:1, keibar--for me, anyway), when I notice the HOA yard-inspecting nazi driving around, taking pictures of all of the offensive front yards.  Yeah, she got mine.  I just cut it the other week, but I believe there might have been a small weed in one corner,  It will be our third "violation" and will result in another nasty note, plus a fine this time.  Bitch.  Well, whatever.  I promised myself I wouldn't let it bother me.  But I found a way to have a little fun out of it.

Earlier today, I was talking to my neighbor across the street.  He keeps his yard perfectly manicured.  Never a blade of grass out of place.  I mentioned about the roving moron, and how she was taking pictures of my yard.  This got a smirk out of him.  And then I let it drop that she did the same to his. 

"Yeah, " I say, "she stopped, took several photos of your place, and took a bunch of notes.  Damn, dude, if you're getting nailed too, I guess I shouldn't feel so bad, huh?"

That was several hours ago.  He is still out there as I write this, cutting, edging, raking, mulching and coiffing his otherwise already perfect yard.  And I'm sitting on my front porch again, enjoying another perfect Manhattan.