I think I'm losing control. I probably need therapy. Anybody know a good shrink? And cheap? No? Ah, screw it. Probably wouldn't help anyways.
So, I'm sitting on the front porch the other day, enjoying enjoying a perfect Makers Mark Manhattan (3:1, keibar--for me, anyway), when I notice the HOA yard-inspecting nazi driving around, taking pictures of all of the offensive front yards. Yeah, she got mine. I just cut it the other week, but I believe there might have been a small weed in one corner, It will be our third "violation" and will result in another nasty note, plus a fine this time. Bitch. Well, whatever. I promised myself I wouldn't let it bother me. But I found a way to have a little fun out of it.
Earlier today, I was talking to my neighbor across the street. He keeps his yard perfectly manicured. Never a blade of grass out of place. I mentioned about the roving moron, and how she was taking pictures of my yard. This got a smirk out of him. And then I let it drop that she did the same to his.
"Yeah, " I say, "she stopped, took several photos of your place, and took a bunch of notes. Damn, dude, if you're getting nailed too, I guess I shouldn't feel so bad, huh?"
That was several hours ago. He is still out there as I write this, cutting, edging, raking, mulching and coiffing his otherwise already perfect yard. And I'm sitting on my front porch again, enjoying another perfect Manhattan.