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Published September 11, 2011 More Info »
          Under President Obama’s new jobs plan the following jobs will be created and may now qualify for tax breaks.       President of the United States of America (This position has been filled)    Vice President (Maybe)    Thor, Almighty God of Thunder    Fern Water-er  Natalie Portman’s Body Double Who May or May Not Have Done All The Dancing In Black Swan Nicki Minaj Wig Consultant  Communist T-Shirt Wearer  “Obama with a Hitler Mustache” Tea Party Poster Designers Charlie Sheen Goddess James Franco   Trump Son  Shuffler   Director of Spielberg Movies   Script Paramedic   Naked Cowboy (Paid Internship)   Cereal Box Mascot for a Day  New Jersey Consultant  Sudoku Solver   Eventualist   Fake Estate Agent   Laugh Track Contributor  Head of Bieber Aesthetics  Doomsday Warner  Yo-Yo Operator  Frozen Yogurt Critic  Kardashian  Ambassador to Ohio Milkman (Is being brought back)  Lottery Ticket Pre-Scratcher   Tweeter  Shiv Wittler  Youtube Commenter  Hater  Jobs Bill Writer (May be laid off)  Under Section 3, Article 4, Paragraph 9, Sentence 2, the term JOB does not extend to slang for sexual acts. Givers of a hand, blow, or rim job will not (AUTOMATICALLY) qualify themselves for a tax cut. It helps, though.   - Barack Obama - Bill Clinton
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