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March 30, 2015
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Hiya, I'm your new neighbor Hot Dog! First name "Hot", last name "Dog", and I just stopped by to introduce myself!

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Hiya Neighbor! I just moved in next-door and thought I’d go around and introduce myself to everyone on the block. So hello! My name is Hot Dog. Yes, First name “Hot” last name “Dog”. My name used to be Michael Rawls,but I legally changed it to Hot Dog, a while ago. You know, people are so serious all the time, but I think it’s important to incorporate being silly into one’s daily life to remind us that the world can be just as playful and light hearted as it is dark and dream crushing. Now my silly lifestyle can put people off, so there are a few things I wanted to let you know about me before we continue to be neighbors!

Now as you may have already noticed, I’m dressed up as a hotdog. Now I don’t work concessions at a baseball stadium, I’m not coming from some special event, this is just how I normally dress. Sure I wear regular clothes, but usually when you see me in public, I’ll be dressed up as a hot dog or in one of my other costumes, silly right?! I actually gave a speech at my best friend’s wedding reception in this hot dog outfit. My costume and name had nothing to do with my speech; I just talked about how happy I was for Greg to have finally found “the one”, but to my surprise, I was kicked out right after I was done speaking. Greg’s parents said something like “you look ridiculous”and “we told you this would happen”, but I still don’t think it was cool to kick me out of my best friends wedding reception like that. But hey! That happened so many 5 days ago.

Anyways, Do you work downtown? What a coincidence, so do I!Back at my old place I carpooled with neighbors all the time, it might be a nice idea to carpool downtown together when we can. It’ll help you save on gas and it would be a good time to just chat and get to know each other. I’ve got a really nice car also; I just traded in my Porsche for a brand new 2012 clown car! I really liked my Porsche, but people in places of power drive cars like Porsches, people of power generally lead serious lives, and I’m not trying to make my life look more serious than it already isn’t, so I traded it in. The downside to driving a clown car is that I no longer have cup holders or seat warmers. However, the upside is that I can fit at least 19 people into it! I’m sure one of them would hold your drink or warm your butt for you if you need it. It’s pretty much built for carpooling, which is great for you! That is…if you’d want to carpool to work in my sweet clown car.

Before I get going, I wanted to invite you to a little get together I have every so often at my house. About once a month or so my friends and I re-enact famous events from history in my backyard. The only thing is, we do it dressed as kitties. One month we did the sinking of the kitty titanic, another was the kitty Million Man March. This month we’ll be doing the kitty JKF Assassination, the governments account and what “really” happened. It should be tons of fun! And if you’d want to be in it, just swing on by with your kitty costume and we’ll find you a role to play. And if you don’t have a kitty costume, don’t worry; I’ve got an extra! Hope you like American short hairs!

I’m all kinds of excited to be your new neighbor. Feel free to swing by my place if you ever need anything. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go say hi to the Johnsons next door. And you know who’s going to get a banana cream pie thrown in their face? Nobody, I forgot to make some before I came out today. But next time, It’ll be ME. That’s right, I’m going to throw a banana cream pie in my face when I meet the Johnsons. Toodles!

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