Whoreson-Degenerate has been said of me,
Flirting and dallying with all Muses nine.
Who else could equal my depravity,
Or match my precipitous decline?
Eloping with Calliope
We were as happy as could be.
Then Clio and I took a roll.
She liked to spank me with her scroll.
Fair Erato soon caught my eye;
Her nimble fingers made me sigh.
Euterpe did my stamina tax:
She always liked a lot of sax.
With Melpomene (Devil May Care)
I barely survived a tragic affair.
And Polyhymnia was so serious,
But when in bed, quite delirious.
A host of men are not able.
Thalia enjoyed a dirty joke
Even better than getting a poke.
Urania would almost soar
When getting it in the back door.
Now you must think me an insensitive brute,
Sleeping around with so many Muses,
That they would be jealous, punish my crime.
But nothing could be farther from the truth.
For they'll accept any of my excuses,
So long as with each one I spend some time.