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April 28, 2014

Donald Sterling is SOOOOOO racist.........towards pancakes?


Amid recent reports of being racist, Clippers owner Donald Sterling (pictured above) took some time to sit down and discuss recent events with his girlfriend, V. Stiviano, at a local pancake house.  What seemed to start out as a casual breakfast turned into something a whole lot bigger, with nearby customers reporting that Sterling and Stiviano got into a verbal fight that was very reminiscent of their extremely publicized recording.  

The controversial NBA owner seemed annoyed at Stiviano for ordering the pancakes, and got even angrier when she took a selfie with her meal.  The following is a sampling of their fight, as reported by nearby customers.

Stiviano: "Honey, I'm sorry.  I wish I could change my order."

Sterling: "You've completely missed the issue."

Stiviano: "What's the issue?"

(Stiviano takes a selfie with her pancakes)

Sterling: "The issue is we don't have to broadcast everything.  Why are you taking pictures with pancakes?  Why?"

Stiviano: "What's wrong with pancakes Donald?"

Sterling: "You don't understand.  Pancakes are an enemy.  There is a pancake culture.  Pancakes feel certain things.  Pancakes feel certain things towards crepes.  Crepes feel certain things towards other breakfast foods.  It will always be that way."

Stiviano: "I can't be racist towards pancakes Donald.  I just can't."

Sterling: "You're just not flexible."

Stiviano: "Flexible?  I'll order f****** waffles Donald if that's what you want."

Sterling: "How about your whole life, everyday, you could do whatever you want with pancakes.  You can sleep with them, you can bring them in, you can do whatever you want.  Just don't bring them to my games."

Stiviano: "I can't bring pancakes to your games?"

Sterling: "F*** no!"

(Sterling suddenly looks extremely turned on)

In light of his apparent pancake racism, there have been numerous celebrity responses:

Los Angeles Clipper Blake Griffin:


NBA Legend Magic Johnson:


ESPN Personality Skip Bayless:


Even the National Basketball Association decided to get involved:


Numerous calls have been made to Donald Sterling and his associates with no success.  Many questions remain.  Is Donald Sterling truly racist against pancakes?  How will it change the NBA playoff series with the Golden State Warriors?  Is Donald Sterling turned on by the thought of pancakes attending his games?  And most importantly, could this signal the death of pancake racism?