or
Published March 27, 2009 More Info ยป
1 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
104 Views
Published March 27, 2009
(from my blog at whatgives.gainesville.com)

Lately, I've been thinking about the all-powerful To Do List.

My To Dos are Too Boring so instead I've been imagining what more interesting folks might have on their lists.

For instance:

Singer/drug addict Amy Winehouse

1. Get up at the crack of 8 p.m. and no later!

2. At least think about taking a shower.

3. Find out the name of that strange man who has been passed out inside the dog house for a week.

4. Find out what happened to the dog.

5. Try to decipher that song I wrote using strawberry jam and mascara.

6. Buy some pens already!

7. Eat something ... this week.

8. Apply a fresh layer of makeup.

9. Find an outfit to wear that DOESN'T smell like cat pee.

10. Hit the clubs again at midnight and party till I drop. (Dead?)

Oh, who am I kidding? Amy is not a planner. She's a real fly high by the seat of her pants kind of a gal.

Let's try again.

An AIG executive

1. Buy better track shoes so I can outrun the angry mobs.

2. See about getting into the witness protection program.

3. Get rid of that darn I love AIG bumper sticker.

4. See if they make an "Executives For Dummies" book. (It's never too late to learn.)

5. Kick a kitten.

6. Come up with a good lie about how I spent my bonus. (Would anyone believe I gave it to orphans?)

7. Call my accountant to make sure he's dotting all the i's and hiding all the T-bonds.

8. Step on a crack. (Sorry about your back Mom.)

9. Start looking for a way to frame my secretary for this whole mess.

10. Polish up my horns.

Now that's a full day.
Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web