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November 06, 2017
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Rodger Goodell announces new NFL brain helmet rule

Commissioner, Rodger Goodell, announced Monday, that the league will be implementing a mandatory brain helmet rule. All players must undergo intensive brain surgery in order to place a protective helmet between their brain and skull. “Safety is our utmost priority”, Goodell claimed. “That’s why we are requiring every player in the National Football League to get a helmet surgically equipped onto their brain.” The decision comes after numerous reports of former NFL players developing CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) from repeated concussions.

While the League has implemented rule changes to curb such injuries, critics still insist that the League must do more to protect its players. The latest brain helmet rule just might be a step in the right direction. However, some are still skeptical questioning the practicality of the helmets. When asked if the brain helmets would actually work, Goodell commented, “It’s a helmet for your brain. It just makes sense.” Critics also point to early medical reports that show that the surgery involved has only an eighty percent survival rate. Goodell brushed off all concerns regarding the surgery saying, “When it comes to the safety of our players, it’s worth the risk.”

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