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October 23, 2013

Will Chuck Darlington ever find a hobbie to fill the hole that is his life? who knows but he sure will test out a bunch of them and lie to himself

Area man Chuck Darlington was seen browsing running shoes at the local Sports Authority this weekend in what looks like another addition to the long list of hobbies that Mr. Darlington doesn’t follow through on.  “If I get the right shoe it will make all the difference, I don’t want to get one that will hurt after a mile and discourage me from ever running again” said the man who will, in all likely hood, never begin running in the first place.  “Hey Chuck, is there anything I can help you with? Hows the Mountain biking going?” asked Sales associate Brian Vickers 28 who has sold Mr. Darlington highly specialized equipment for no less than 3 recreational activities. “Going great Brian” lied Darlington “It’s just hard to get out to the trails so I thought I might start running as something I can do after work you know?” “I totally get it” replied Vickers playing along in what he had to know was a delusional man’s rationalizations.  


This year alone Mr. Darlington has picked up and subsequently dropped guitar, cooking, wood working, home brewing and mountain biking as hobbies never sticking to one for more than a week before reverting to watching TV and staring at his computer in his free time.   


Co-workers of Mr. Darlington describe him as an affable man with what sounds like a full life. Dom Luciano who has worked with Darlington for 7 years had this to say “Chuck is a great guy to work with; he doesn’t come out with us often, even though we have a pretty tight knit office. We ask him all the time but he always has some class or camping trip planned.” “I really think Running is going to be what gets me out of my rut” said Darlington “I think I’m going to be a runner!”  Darlington’s running shoes remain unused in his closet next to his rock climbing shoes, where they will probably stay until he uses them to mow the lawn.


Shirley Miller adds “It’s too bad Chuck can’t play on our intramural softball team, we are in a league against some of the other offices in the business park. With all the other things he does he would enjoy it.” Mr. Darlington is said to have turned down softball because "it's not active enough for me, it's really just people chatting it up. I'm not great with small talk." 


“I don’t think running is for me, it’s so lonely and I’m more of a people person said a man who lives alone, eats most meals alone and isolates himself from his coworkers, who by all accounts seem to genuinely like him. “Maybe I should join a gardening club?” a visible excited Darlington exclaimed to no one.  


When asked for comment new employee Jason Hues said “Doesn’t Chuck kayak? I swear we talked about kayaking for 2 hours one day?