FAST FOOD CRAZY MAD SCIENCE THINKING INSANE?
Hello fast food franchizee. I am writing this letter to try and communicate with you.
Obviously you are Insane and completely out of touch with any human life on planet earth and need my help. I'd like to start by saying that any and all research that led you and your cohorts to menue and prepare most of your food items needs to be thrown away, deep sixed, shit canned, 86'd, plowed over,reclaimed,and or erased from the anals of history never to be revisited again, never, never, no. I'd also like to start by saying that the dawning age of the 21st century has seen a dark and evil time in the Fast food world, it aparently has been taken over by crazy,mad science thinking, bordering two miles American side past insane. I'd like to take the time to shed light on a few of the things that clearly point to the fact that Fast Food fanchizes do not infact ever want Human customers, but rather some sub-species. Some times it is as if there is some kind of running bet between the different franchises on what kind of gross concoction you can get people to eat. Would that be accurate?
1. Mayonaise is a condement, not an ingredient. I do not want a Mayonaise sandwich with a hamburger patty on it, I wan't a damn hamburger with mayo on it, not a goo-plop slop drop-you people make me freaking sick.
2. Of course I want fucking napkins shit head. Haven't you seen this ball of shit you just had your employee hand me, I don't just want a napkin,I want a freaking shower. I hate your freaking guts.
3.Ketchup is not all that great, I know you think its the shit, but it really sucks to take a bite of burger and only swallow Ketchup-you stupid douch bag, pig feeder.
4.I know that this is a real stretch for you and all of your number crunchers but hey- have you ever maybe just concidered once a thing called quality? We'd buy it you evil,sick, deginerate.
5. At least the high school kids could speak english, ya slave driving money whore.
6. Why don't your freaking milkshakes ever melt? That just scares the living shit out of me, what are you giving me to drink? Your milk shakes are often room temp. You are Satan's greatest hope.
7. Whats with the Less salt thing? This shit is so bad, sodium is the least thing to fear, the very,very least thing. You are a caring pretender.
Thats just seven things off the top of my head Mr./Mr.s Franchisee, I hope that by reading this you come to understand that I think that your restaurant is to me a human form of the roach motel, or a decon pest trap, it just takes longer to work and in the worst way is completely disrespectfull to your customer base simply by the quality of food you deliver.
I hope that you take in consideration the things that I have outlined for you you shit bag, and think long and hard about the quality of food that you are feeding people you slut. Please revise your presentation and condement aplication proccess before I have to start eating healthy, you really don't want that do you? I didn't think so you sick, sick, puppy.
Thank you for your time,
Last Pirate of the Rockies.