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February 09, 2012

Think you know bad lyrics? You don't.


Caption: Jula Tahini in one of her more restrained outfits


At a recent press junket for her new album, Twisty as Fusili, Tahini spoke out about the pressure to write good lyrics. “People don’t understand how hard it is to produce a decent song, never mind writing okay lyrics. To be honest I really didn’t think anyone listened to lyrics these days. I mean it’s not like it’s the 60’s anymore. These days artists don’t have to pretend to care about issues. Even Bob Dylan hasn’t listened to his own lyrics in 20 years.”

The problem started when Tahini fan groups started a Faceboom page called Shittest Lyrics by Jula Tahini, a page which now boasts over 8000 fans.

Top selections include:

My mom is a strudel – “My mom is a strudel/ a strudel is she/ My mom is a strudel, I’ll have her with tea…”

Repeat this – “Repeat this. Now repeat this. Say you’ll repeat this. Okay thank you. (chorus)”

Bend my willy – “I don’t have one, but if I had one you could bend it…”

Breakdance Smackdown – “My friend knows a breakdancer, I tried to get her to introduce us but she didn’t. His name is Bob and he likes to spin on his kneecap…”

Irate Rat – “He only likes gorgonzola, the good stuff from Waitrose and no other, his irony is organic…”

Tahini feels that this fanpage could spark a deluge of similar sites forcing musicians to have to think about their lyrics.

“I know lots of perfectly credible artists who write rubbish lyrics. Why can’t I be one of them? Isn’t it enough to have obscure samples and alternative collaborators?”

To vote for your favourite of Tahini’s shit lyrics go to faceboom.com/ Shittest-Lyrics-by-Jula-Tahini