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June 05, 2017
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Had to move in with my old ass Grandma, so I made it fun.

1. Messing With Her Dumb Fish

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Fish are dumb. That’s why I flushed all of Nana’s down the toilet, replaced the cold, fish water with boiling non-fish water, and then put some fish sticks in the tank so she thought they fried to death. You guys should’ve seen the look on her face when I pulled one out and gave it a good munch. Priceless!

2. Put A Sign Marked ‘Toilet’ Over Her Sink

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This is a CLASSIC prank. Convincing an older member of the community and her friends that the sink is a toilet is the perfect combination of embarrassment (for them) and hilarity (for me). You ever see a senior citizen with two metal hips try and crawl up squat over a sink? What mastermind came up with that prank? Jim Carrey? Kevin Hart on steroids? Nope,just your resident small-town OG prank God.

3. Hiring A Mariachi Band To Follow Her Everywhere

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And if she ever were to ask them to leave, they were to rob her of everything she owned, put it on a raft, and set the raft aflame per my instruction.

4. Opening A Demonic Chasm In Her Furnace

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I wish you all got to see the look on stupid Nana’s face when she got home and Tkarl, Bifons, Morax, and 800 of their closest friends greeted her with gnashing teeth and leathery wings. Good god, she jumped so high. Like if she saw a mouse or something. She called the cops immediately. Plus,by totaling her furnace I created a bonus second layer of humor to this whole stunt.

5. Leveling Her Entire House and Putting A Mini Replica In Its Place

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I’m not going to lie; this one took months of planning and saving. It felt like I was running from the bank back to the drawing board every day. But when Nana thought it was just a vision problem on her end and still tried to crawl in the front door, it was all worth it.

6. Enrolling Her In A Dance Class

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That’s right, I took something simple and made it devastating…ly funny! I paid for the 8-week course, for the shoes, the geriatric leotard, everything. I drove her to every rehearsal, took her friends out for ice cream after each one, and dropped them off at their homes, nursing or not. Then, when time came around for the recital, guess who wasn’t in his reserved front row seat? This guy!

7. Switching Out All Of Her Hardboiled Eggs For Raw Ones

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This one was funny, I guess, but now I really regret it because when I switched out the eggs I got a little on my new shirt.

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