Full Credits

Stats & Data

0Funny
0Die
155
Views
March 17, 2009
Published
Description

-



"What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?"

"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful flamingo flying across in front of a beautiful sunset?  And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak - and also he's carrying a beautiful painting with his feet - and also you're drunk."

"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose."

"If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron.  That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like, "Hey, look!  He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right; it's a soldering iron.  The soldering iron of justice."  Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink."

Ah...the great Jack Handy.  He's got some deep thoughts.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY EVERYONE!!!  And remember, even if you're not Irish, you're still lucky - depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't work for the rabbit.


Advertisement