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October 24, 2009


I've been with my wife for fourteen years and I love her very much. She failed to mention one small detail. A demon or ghost has haunted her off and on for most of her life. This totally sucks because the poltergeist just recently came back. (note demon or ghost will be referred to as poltergeist for the rest of the blog). She also just recently decided to share this whimsical fact with Yours truly. It all started shortly after I bought a private collection of comic books from some nerdy guy on Craigslist.org for an undisclosed amount of $$$. I think maybe the comic books were possessed or triggered a supernatural phenomena in this "poltergeist". I burned all the comic books but to no avail the poltergeist still lurks.

At first, I admit, it was kinda cool I mean it's getting close to Halloween. You know how people always ask, "How are You?" and you don't really have anything to say other than" fine" or "great"? I could shoot back, "Oh, I got a poltergeist in my house." and then I'm almost guaranteed to be the center of attention. Also, it was an excellent excuse to buy a ton of new electronic toys. I upgraded the computer and got a bunch of camera equipment. I told Mandi it was to film the demonic activity in our home.But I was going to buy all that stuff anyways.I have been on "electronics restriction" before, I just found a different way to break that ruling. Mandi got Owned on that one!

Here's the thing though. It's creepy.It doesn't harm the kids or Mandi. Almost every night, o.k. more like every night I am home, the poltergeist does something crazy to wake us up. Not cool.I have been hit in the head numerous times, hot sauce poured in my mouth and my fingernails have been painted. I'm a correctional officer at night so when I am home with her I have to get up early on my days off. I need my sleep. If a poltergeist turns your T.V.or lights off and on, it's one thing. If the poltergeist pounds on the wall, crunches up corn chips and spits them in your chest hairs or rips your chest hairs out one by one, it's another. You can't ignore that no matter how hard you try. It's gotten to the point where the poltergeist doesn't even have to do anything more than pull the covers back and turn the fan on high to ruin my night.I usually wake up injured and freezing, look over at Mandi and She looks terrified, almost angry with fear. All the mini dv tapes are blank when I wake up, it looks as though when Mandi gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom the poltergeist stops the cameras from recording. I watch them back and shortly after the last time code stamp on the tape is usually right before I actually wake up every single time.

The constant threat is enough to stress us out, especially Mandi. She seems freaked out all the time. I think there seems to be more to this story that she's not saying.She never tells Me when something happens to her, I guess she doesn't want me to worry. I'M SCARED MAN! You'd think, with all the cameras, we could really pick up some activity.Mandi is at my throat lately, I know it's because She loves Me and can't bear to see this happen to Me. Mandi's just a bundle of nerves and can not chill out.I feel so bad for her having to watch this evil thing torture me from getting rest. I just wish she wouldn't worry about Me so much, It's like pulling teeth to get along lately. She is about to Graduate with a degree,she has a super awesome Husband,4 awesome kids, an awesome computer, expensive cameras, threat of demonic activity, and an awesome house. What more could a wife want?

Anyhow, I don't really know where I'm going with this but I feel that things are going to have to come to a head. I'm not sure what to do. Everything I try pisses off the poltergeist even more. I let Mandi bring the local "ghostbuster" guy back today but he was kind of rude You know the type Hunky, Prettyboy, useless, looks like a poolboy and then He took off without doing anything... again. I told Mandi he was worthless.She said He was the best at what He does. Whatever. We have talked about it and I am thinking of upping my life insurance policy. Perhaps we should pack up the kids and stay at a hotel tonight?