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June 08, 2010


....it pours!
So,  ever since Rede and I reconnected and then he went awol again....I've been sort of pensive.  I keep thinking that it's either him or Nigel or nobody, and most of the time "nobody" seems like the better option. 
I've been telling myself that I'm just too old for this shit and that maybe the goofy/sexy/fun part of my life ended and I just didn't notice because I'm always so disgustingly hopeful.  I've been languishing in the bubble and actually wake up every day feeling somewhat rejected by love and try to understand it because overall, I'm a fairly loving person and it's so strange to me that something that seems so simple is so elusive. 
Now, it can't be my standards, and Jason can back me up on this, because the bar is practically set in a deficit position, like a suicidal Pole jumping out the basement window... so I don't think I have an unreasonable criteria in terms of love expectations.  Smart, funny and playful.  How hard is that?
Anyway, Ive been in a bit of a funk, waiting for the phone to ring, checking and re-checking my e-mail, even my deleted files just in case he sent something that may have accidentally got lodged in my spam filter. Nada.  And it makes me want to throw shit.
So, yesterday I take Kelly outside to wait for the bus and I find this columnar book on the bench in front of the building.  Thinking that it might be important and not wanting it to get thrown away, I check the inside cover and there is a phone number and e-mail inside.  I get upstairs, call the number and leave a message. 
I occurs to me that it's most likely somebody in the building, so I put the e-mail into Facebook to see if I recognize anyone in the picture, and I totally don't, BUT! Dude is pretty hot. LOL  He's totally cute!
Realizing he could call at any moment, I had a quick shower and got myself all pertied up, just in case.  It just filled my day with so much possibility!  It was so nice to feel that anticipation
 AND THEN!!!  I had mentioned the situation on FB, and this cutie that I used to hook up with pre-Kelly and who hasn' t said "Boo" in a hundred years sends me this flirty message.  He's dumb as shit, but sexy as Hell, and he is the younger brother of someone I used to work with and nobody knows about the day we ran into one another on the subway and ended up back at my place.  Wow!  They do now! LOL  but, that was a LIFETIME ago.  I'm too old to engage in those kinds of shenanigans any more ;p
But, it was nice to hear from him.  Made me blush a bit.
So, columnar book guy calls and he's going to come by at around 7:30 to pick up the book.  We chit chat a bit and he's so grateful, wants to know if I prefer red or white.... Red.  Of course :)  He had been working (he's an environmentl contractor which means that he's handy AND socially conscious), and he'd put the book on top of his truck and then driven off with it.  We both have NO IDEA how it could have gotten to where I am ... but so glad it did :)  
I head down stairs to go wait for him, and who do I run into?  This totally hot French guy who used to star in  show downtown and we've met him a few times because Kelly is a huge fan (yes, I am a fan also :) ), and we used to wait after the show so she could see him and give hugs.  So, he's right outside and I get a hug and kisses on the cheek from him and he comes up to say "hi" to Kelly and I get another snog when he leaves to go see the friend he came here for. Sigh. 
Then I went down to meet book guy, and it's obvious that we're checking one another out, but I have a cranky Englishman who's completely unimpressed with the grin I've had plastere on my face all night,  so..... it eiher ends or begins there, who knows??
Pretty great fucking day, right?
Maybe I'm bragging....it's just been so long since I've had anything to brag about. So...feel free to be jealous :)