Full Credits

Stats & Data

0Funny
0Die
23
Views
May 08, 2016
Published
Description

A look at how religion actually did help to kill the 3 music superstars, Prince, Marley and Lennon-complete with new releases from each-I have connections

His majestic purpleness just managed to kill himself. The Prince and the Popper (pills). To bad, I was still trying to figure out what to call him. Was it Prince, or that symbol or just 10 hail Prince’s and then you scarf the wafer? Here is his posthumous release:

THE PRINCE AND THE POPPER
I am the artist formerly known as Prince
So arrogant and silly it should make you wince
But I don’t care people say I’m a genius
That’s cuz people think with their penius

Yes, I’m the artist formerly known as Prince
Doctors want to cut, me they try to convince
But I take little red pills, i don’t listen to that jive
And now I’m the artist formerly known as alive.

The B side
Don’t cry for me Minnesota
I didn’t like you, no not one iota
I kept my promise, I took your money
Now that I’m cremated, I look kinda funny

Whatever his name, he let his religious beliefs croak him. It works like this. He was a Jehovah'sWitness. (We need a “Witness” protection program). They don’t allow things like blood transfusions so, alas, no surgeries. He needed a double hip replacement and was said to be in constant pain. Nevertheless, his religion stopped him. He was left to swallowing those little red and raspberry pills. Problem is, they’re addictive. Too many down the old purple neck and boom, you become purple for real.

Well, how about another one? Bob Marley. One day Marley noticed something growing on his toe at the nail. He went to thee Papa Doc, Big Doc man say cut, but Marley say no. Marley was a member of the Rastafarian religion/cult and once again they forbid the cutting of the body because they want you to have all of your parts when you make it to heaven. The story is familiar, the cancer metastasizes and pretty soon de Rasta mon croaketh. But wait, who cares, the important thing was, he saved his freakin’ toe! Don’t look on the sad side.
Come on, we all sing now mon,

I Bob Marley with the Rasta mon vibration
You no like my song, then I give you penetration
My toe with the cancer say-OH OH OH
Doctor say cut, but Marley say NO.

Lord won’t let me into heaven with a missing toe
Bring it in a jar, Lord say NO GO
So I die and go to heaven, but heaven not there
And now poor old Marley is exactly nowhere.
How about another. John Lennon was famous for many things, one of the most famous was his 1966 declaration that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. It caused a worldwide panty and jock bunching of unprecedented bunchiness!

Here is his latest release from heaven:

“THE BALLAD OF JOHN”

My name is Johnny Lennon and once I was great
But then I got rocked by a cruel, cruel fate
One day I met a girl who was Japanese
From that day on, she had me on my knees

Yoko put me in a dress and made me her bitch
I became a clown and Yoko got rich
Put her hands in my skull and twisted my head
Chapman couldn’t kill me, I was already dead

Well, jump to 1980 when Lennon is shot in the back by some piece of garbage the media called a psycho. The problem with that description is that there are many so-called psychos in this world (surprised?), but that doesn’t in itself necessarily make them violent of killers. But when they get those good old, old time religious notions careening around in their rather sparse minds, then they can become killers. But the news media always played that down. The lap-dog controlled media always plays along with whatever the interests of the state are? You thought they were big crusaders and truth seekers? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Please. As for religion, especially 35 years ago, there was a sort of “gentleman’s agreement” in place where we never speak ill of your religion as you might speak ill of ours tomorrow.

But if you’re interested in the facts, his killer hated Lennon for the 1966 remark. He carried a diary around telling of his hated for Lennon and used to sing with his religious amigos, “Imagine John Lennon Dead!” Nice.
So instead of the usual nonsense about how “heaven’s” probably got one hell of a band remember they all might still be here singing in this mortal realm if it hadn’t been for everybody’s favorite wishful thinking delusion, religion. Religion: always inventing newer and better ways to kill people, for your shopping convenience. And yes we take credit cards, cash, food stamps, bent coins, slugs, wooden nickels, wooden heads and shares in sure-fire diamond mines on Pluto.

Advertisement
Advertisement