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September 30, 2017
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What's stronger? Nature or nature?

Conan: Come on, what’s really going on here?
Me: What do you mean?
Conan: Clearly there’s more to this then you are letting on.
Me: What? No.
Conan: So you are just going to let me walk through this doorway?
Me: Correct.
Conan: And you won’t stop me?
Me: No.
Conan: Dude. Stop with the jokes.
Me: There are no jokes. You said you have to go to the bathroom, I opened the door for you. Why is that so complicated?
Conan: Hello?! There’s no fence!
Me: So?
Conan: That’s the wild out there.
Me: It’s a small backyard surrounded by bushes in a gated community. I think you’re ok to go pee.
Conan: You don’t know what’s out there, man.
Me: I do though. It’s grass. Now go.
Conan: But what if there are animals out there.
Me: You’re an animal.
Conan: I mean real animals.
Me: Real animals….as opposed….to say….a….dog?
Conan: Exactly.
Me: Just go pee, Conan.
Conan: This isn’t a good idea.
Me: Why not?
Conan: You know I’m a flight risk!
Me: You are not a flight risk.
Conan: My natural instinct may kick in and I could just take off! You don’t know!
Me: No, you won’t.
Conan: How can you be so sure?! You don’t know me!
Me: Yes, I do.
Conan: No way, man.
Me: You left your FitBit in the bedroom. You wouldn’t take all those steps without a record of them.
Conan: Dammit. Foiled by technology again. Fine, I’ll be right back but keep an eye on me.
Me: You got it, Buddy.

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