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Published March 26, 2010 More Info »
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Published March 26, 2010
A series of blonde jokes.  Some are old but others were new to me.  Being that I was blond back in the day, I can freely share these!



DISNEYLAND

Two blondes were going to Disneyland.  They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.  They started crying & turned around and went home.

 

FLORIDA OR MOON

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking.  One blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away - Florida or the moon?'  The other blonde turns and says 'Hellooo, can you see Florida?'

 

CAR TROUBLE


 A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.  After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

 She says, 'What's the story?'

 He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

 She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

 

SPEEDING TICKET


 A police officer stops a blonde for speeding & asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

 She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license & then today you expect me to show it to you!'

 

RIVER WALK


There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river & sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river & shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

 

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office & said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder & screamed, then she pushed her elbow & screamed even more. She pushed her knee & screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle & screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?

'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

 

KNITTING


A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights & siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn & yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

 

BLONDE ON THE SUN


 A Russian, an American, & a Blonde were talking one day.

 The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

 The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

 The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'  The Russian & the American looked at each other & shook their heads.

 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.

 To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'


IN A VACUUM


 A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice & she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum & someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time & then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

 

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES
!

 A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired 2 new dogs. She asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex & one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'

 'HELLOOOOOOO...... -  'They're watch dogs'!


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