Full Credits

Stats & Data

November 27, 2017

Manelito is asked to deliver coffee.


Lance is a golf pro who runs a golf course and has a short temper. He also has an exalted opinion of himself and likes to lord it over other people. Manelito is a poor Mexican man who came illegally to this country but eventually gained citizenship. Though he works as a golf attendant at minimum wage bringing golf clubs for members when they show up at the club and seeing to their needs (bringing them drinks); Manelito is determined to prove he’s as good as the rich members of the club—-and also Lance, with whom he is often at odds. Lance would fire Manelito if he could, but he can’t. Lance’s boss over him in the big office hired Manelito and likes him. Lance is stuck with him. Manelito knows more English than he lets on to keep Lance off balance and to fool him.

Manelito uses a combination of Spanish and English (Spanglish) to mock Lance and drive him crazy.

One of the golf club members is Lorenze C. Goldbrick.Goldbrick is an old man with a bad attitude. He designs technological equipment and although he has lived a successful life, he joined the golf club so he can swagger around and act bigger than he is. He’s an egomaniac who likes to snap his finger at club staffers so they can wait on his every wish. He loudly yells “I’m Lorenze C. Goldbrick!” to anyone who will listen——as if that means anything important.

Goldbrick equates money with personal worth and if you don’t have a lot of money you’re not worth anything, although Goldbrick owes a lot of money himself to creditors and is behind on his club membership dues.

Goldbrick is always cranky and likes to address staffers at the club like Manuelito as “Boy,” he says, “Hey boy! Get my golf clubs and put them on my cart and be quick about it boy. You hear me boy?”

Goldbrick even treats Lance the golf pro who has his own egomania delusions with disdain as an underling. As a result, Lance hates Goldbrick’s guts, but because he’s a member of the club who spends thousands of dollars on membership dues, Lance has to be polite to him and take his abuse.

When Goldbrick mistreats Lance, Lance in turn seeks a staffer to mistreat to work off his anger.

Lance – (yelling) Manelito get in here!”

Manelito – (smiling) Senior?

Lance – You know Goldbrick?

Manelito – Si

Lance – I want you to take him some coffee. Get some coffee in a thermos and take it to him. He’s on hole number three.

Manelito – Café? (coffee in Spanish, pronounced café’).

Lance (angry) Yes in the café’——where they make the coffee. Is this going to tax your brain Manelito?

Manelito – Senior?

Lance – Manelito. Do you think that if I gave you a month, you could find a way to carry this out? Bring some Fu’’in coffee to a member? You think you’re up to this?

Manelito – Si.

Lance (speaks slowly, as though Manelito is a child) It’s simple Manelito. You go to the restaurant and ask for some coffee. They give you the coffee in a container. You then get in your golf cart with the coffee in the container and drive to hole three, get out of your cart and give the coffee to Goldbrick. He thanks you. You thank him. Then you get back in your golf cart and drive back here. You understand?

Manelito – Si Senor hole tres (three).

Lance – (mocking) Do you think you can accomplish this task Manelito? Of course if you can’t, if you fu’k this up, maybe we could assign you a job that might better match your aptitude, like pushing a broom for instance, maybe cleaning out the toilets.

Manelito – Comer mierda! (Spanish for eat sh’t, pronounced come-merda).

Lance – That’s right, after you’re done, you come back here-da. You’re catching on Manuelito. I think there’s some hope for you yet.

Manelito – Si

Lance – Take the coffee to Goldbrick.

Manelito – Si

As Manelito turns to go Lance grumbles to himself at the cash register.

Lance – The old coot Goldbrick if there was a pile of rocks with a hole in it he would stick his cock inside to tease the snake.

Manelito goes to the club restaurant, gets the coffee, gets in a golf cart and drives up to hole three. There he finds Goldbrick.

Goldbrick - (to his golf partner pointing at Manelito) There he is finally. These Mexicans they move so slow. (Goldbrick laughs at his own imagined cleverness and the cruel heartless joke).

Manelito – Here is the café’ Senior.

Goldbrick – Just put it over there. You haven’t stolen my car yet have you Manelito? (Goldbrick laughs again, although his golf partner only forces a courtesy laugh).

Manelito waits.

Goldbrick – Okay you can go. Oh I guess you expect a tip.Here! (Goldbrick gives Manelito a quarter).

Manelito turns to go and pauses.

Manelito – Senior?

Goldbrick – Yes?

Manelito – Why you tease a snake?

Goldbrick – What?

Manelito – With your cock?

Goldbrick – What are you talking about?

Manelito – Senior Lance, he say you look for a rock with a snake to put your pene (penis) on.

Goldbrick – My what?

Manelito – Pene! (Manuelito points at his crotch).

Goldbrick – Oh he said that did he?

Manelito – Si

Manelito returns to the club. Later he hears yelling. He walks by the pro shop open door. There is Goldbrick chewing Lance’s ass up one side and down the other. Lance, who offers not a word of resistance, is standing stiff, trembling; white as a sheet.

More next week.