CUTE!: How You Talk About Your 7 Best Friends (When You’re Drunk)
— You, 2 Shots
Guyss… sometimes you just gotta put it all out there solemme TELL you guys about how AMAZING my friends are. These are my SEVEN ALL TIME BEST FRIENS IN THE WORLD and also I have had a little karkov okay here we go
— You, 3 Shots
Tracy, oh my god, TRACY is SO beautiful, you guys. Like have you ever really LOOKED at Tracy she is seriously the most beautiful person ever. Look, she’s right over there— TRACY, HI—she’s busy. Guys I lost my phone, can we go to Taco Bell now?
— You, 4 Shots
Rebecca is seriously THE BEST. She’s like… if the sun was a person, you know? Rebecca, I LOVE YOU. Guys… Where’s Rebecca, I wanna see her. REBECCA. REBECCAAAAA.
— You, 5 Shots & a Long Island
Jennifer is so smart, guys. I think she would WANT you to take me to take me to Taco Bell, RIGHT NOW. I want a chalupuh… a chaluuuu…. A burrito.
— You, 5 Shots, a Long Island, & 1 Beer
Guys, doess anyone has a tampon. Is URGRENT.
— You, 5 Shots, a Long Island, 1 Beer & 1 Weird Experience with Travis
REBECCAAAA. Guys where did REBECCA go. I wanna TALK to her. Guys… I gotta ash you summing…. Does Rebecca hate me? Does she? Does she hate me? Do you guys hate me? Okay, everyone’s gotta raise their hands RIGHT NOW if they hate me, okay? One, two, three, go. Travis put your hand up, I know you do. I know.
— You, 5 Shots, a Long Island, 2 Beers & 8oz of Water
Guysss…. Where’s my shoe? It’s not funny.
— You, 6 Shots, a Long Island, 2 Beers & a Chalupa
GUYS I FOUND REBECCA. She’s standing over there, but she’s squatting whoops no that’s a trashcan. REBECCA. REBECCAAAAAAA.
Amy Corson is a senior at Indiana University, studying Theatre and Telecommunications. She is part of the sketch comedy group the University tWits, and is kind of afraid of raccoons. You can find her on Twitter at @amycorson.