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Published September 29, 2010

Okay, maybe the United Nations didn't issue this warning, but after someone from the UN reads this, you can expect them to ASAP.

 

You see, it seems that Prauge Zoo has lost one of it's lovable Honey Badgers.

Aww

 

Well, not so much lost as had one of these delightful animals that just happen to be considered the most fearless animal in the world decide she was bored, and climbed over a 1.6m high fence in a bid for sweet sweet freedom.

 

"So what's the big deal?" I hear you thinking (mind reading is a side effect of my Jedi training). Well for one thing, most of the animals on the planet that can kill you, are just a tasty snack to the Honey Badger.

Yes, it is snacking on a scorpion. Fear it.

 

Honey Badgers, while eating earth worms, insects, frogs and other tiny little creatures that we tend to ignore also find scorpions, porcupines, mongooses and larger prey like crocodiles up to one metre in size, young gazelle and pythons, and other venomous snakes quite tasty!

Starting to get worried yet, people of Prague?

Just watch this 2002 National Geographic documentary titled "Snake killers: Honey badgers of the Kalahari". You will see a Honey Badger casually walk up to a Puff Adder, steal the meal the snake was eating right out of it's mouth, eat it in front of the pissed off Puff Adder, get up wander back over to the very venom filled snake and start to eat it! This Honey Badger then gets a little woozy, passed out on the dead snake, having being bitten by it. After about an hour or 2, the Honey Badger wakes up, notices the snake it was eating, and continues to eat it, before wandering off, in search of it's next poisonous meal to eat like nothing happened at all!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c81bcjyfn6U&feature=player_embedded(Seriously, click the link)

 

A 2009 issue of Scientific American claims that pound for pound the honey badger is the world's most fearsome land mammal due to its favourable claw to body ratio and aggressive behavioural tendencies. And to make them just a little more interesting, these little killers are smart too! Honey Badgers are one of few animals capable of using tools, like we are. In the 1997 documentary series Land of the Tiger, a Honey Badger in India was filmed using a tool. The Honey Badger rolled a log and stood on it to reach a kingfisher fledgling stuck up in the roots coming from the ceiling in an underground cave. Nowhere is safe!

Yes, this lone Honey Badger is fighting off a full grown Lion. Yes, it is WAY tougher than you are, you pudgy little human.

The Honey Badgers thick, loose skin makes it difficult to grip or suffocate them. It is able to twist inside its own skin and bite whatever is holding it. Poor stupid Lion.

 

And poor stupid people of Prague. You have no chance. Flee while you can. Your only hope is to have small children, the elderly, and the very very fat flee with you, as your longer legs will keep you a good distance ahead, and up your chances of getting away. 

 

I'll end this with a quote from Jeremy Clarkson, on the BBC's Top Gear's Botswana Special. "A Honey Badger does not kill you to eat you. It tears off your testicles."

 

God Speed people of Prague!

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